I swear down, school is taking my time along with another game but I got all this info ready from Dameson. Last time he came.
Day 1[]
Testing, testing,...is this working? I’ve been trying to find an electronic I could use to charge this diary up. Lemme look. Yep, working. Alright! Now time to see what kind of nightmare I’m in now. It can’t possibly be worse than killer robots, living plants and zombies, pun making skeletons, and cute aliens of death.(Spoiler: It is. Why am I not surprised?)
Now I’ve been here for a while and saw some Toads so I can safely assume that I’m in the Mario dimension. But what on earth happened to this place?!?! There are gigantic closet materials everywhere making travelling near impossible. Sure I could just turn my phone into a flying vehicle and...wait...why didn’t I.
“AUGHH!!!!! I should SLAP MYSELF!!!” I screamed(I did that)
“Alright....let’s do this.” I say as my hand proceeded to whip out my phone. Searching through the selection of transformation is a helicopter.
“Yeah, let’s do this.” I say. I go with it and….one boy in a helicopter. This should be easy to find my escape materials. Just need to remember my flight teacher’s lessons. Oh wait, they died flying a plane. And I didn’t get my license as a result and proceeded to forget everything I learned. What did I just think again? Wait....s***.
I look down to see nothing but a cushion with everything else falling. 1 millisecond later I go down as well. Fantastic. Well than.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” Normally I would go parachute mode but that requires my phone and it’s kinde in the middle of reforming from plane pieces. Oh well, looks like there’s soft things under me. Brace for impac…
“GAHHHHHH!!!” I scream as I shatter all my bones in my leg. I held back a tear as I’m a man. My phone just reformed. Great, perfect timing! I have it turn into a medical kit. It slowly heals me but I’ll need to take my time. Wait, what are those white things?
In front of me are 3 white rabbits in some strange color and costumes. All with a gun. Hopefully they aren’t hostile.
“BWAA!!!” One says as it points at me. The others begin….”BWAA-ING” at each other. What the heck are they...oh they have their guns at me. Fun. Well, goodbye world. It was nice knowing you. Tell….nah, I’m probably going to be suddenly rescued by Mario and the gang.
“In three(As I say this, I hold up my fingers to count down the seconds remaining), two, one.” Suddenly a red blur comes and shoots the three rabbit things down. I hold my arms up and say “YES!!! CLASSIC VIDEO GAME CLICHE!” I look at Mario who’s staring at me like I’m a complete lunatic. He then proceeded to point above me. I look up and...ARE THOSE LUIGI AND PEACH RABBITS?!?!
Sure enough, there are 2 rabbits that are in costumes of Luigi and Peach. What happened to them, I don’t want to know. Both look completely insane and the peach one...has a phone taking selfies. Love my life.
“Well now.” I say. What next? The peach rabbit comes up to me. “Well you look cute. What are you...HEY, THAT’S MY PHONE!!!” The rabbit takes my phone from my pocket and throws it down the hill. F***!. The Luigi one just looks at it and… HEY, NO, NOT MY DIARY. NOT MY DI
- Auto Write is experiencing a technical difficulty. Please fix this and try again. Error 82617: Luigi Rabbit Wannabe Thingy Eating the Main Core of Auto Write*
Day 4[]
For the love of...WORK!! NO Mario Rabbid!, Don’t eat that wire. Gosh dangit Yoshi Rabbid. NO, YOSHI, STOP!!! UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! Hard Shut Down!!!
Day 7[]
...if any of you rabbids attempt to damage or tough my belongings, I will send you 200 miles into the ground.” I saw to the dimwitted creatures. 6 Days past the damage and not only do we find the real Luigi, Peach, and Yoshi(I just found him while doing my....duty), I meet the rabid versions of them(I also managed to find out their species along the way after retrieving my phone which I will not remind myself to think again.)
Anyway we’re in this lava place with Bowser Castle here(How come the dude doesn’t set his big castle in a hot spring or something? Well I’m not the giant turtle who loses to a plumber.) Apparently his kid, Bowser Jr, has captured a special Rabid that causes the combinations of these things. Welp, this is gonna be a Monday(Even though I have no freaking idea what day it is) in terms of world saving things.
Skipping the boring entrance thing since nobody likes it, we’re now facing Bowser Jr. He’s in his giant robot with a mallet and we have to strategize our way outta here. If you didn’t know(What am I kidding, OF COURSE you don’t know!) the last few days I had to strategize our team out of rabbids of coffins, opera singers, ice beasts, Donkey Kong, and a ton of other stuff(I would be going insane but my first trip of PvZ so…)
“Alright guys, Mario you buff us up and shoot that turtle, Rabid Yoshi, shield us from his attacks with your...uh...thing while everyone else retreats with this pipe”
The group nods and do exactly that. It’s a good thing too since as soon as Mario hits Bowser Jr, he charges at us and RY blocks him off.
“Alright, everyone else FIRE!”
Luigi, me, and Mario proceed to fire at the robot(I think Yoshi, Rabid Mario, Rabid Peach, and Peach went off somewhere else) and it does some damage it seems like. Bowser Jr is coming for us but we should be fine. Yep, he’s outta range. In fact I should mention us three are at different parts of the area we’re in. So he tries to keep charging at the person he getting shot at but we’re just shooting him so he goes in a triangle and has no way out.
“And this koopa is dead in 3, 2, 1…” I proceed to aim my sniper to the breaches engine and shoot at it” The machine malfunctions and stops. Then it explodes and Jr goes flying. Come to think of it, I remember why the others not in this fight weren’t in this fight. Oh yeah, that rabid that caused this. I rush to the exit to find the others with a rabid with a goggle thing stuck into it.
“Alright, we got this thing. Now how do we undo this?” I say. All there is is silence. S***. The rabid with the goggle thing(I’ma just gonna call it Spawny now) leaps out and starts running in circles. And suddenly glowy phoenix thing comes and kidnaps Spawny...........wow. That’s something you don’t see everyday. Bowser Jr comes running to us and he’s really p***ed. Is he gonna try to kill us for destroying his mech? Nah, he’s just chatting bull.
“Yeah we don’t care about your thing. Now shut up and go to whatever thing you kids do.” I tell him.
Bowser Jr obliges, going on his phone. Suddenly a worried face comes to him as he throws his phone into lava by accident and starts running towards the main castle. What on earth is he worried about? I turn my phone into a periscope and look at the burning phone. And I see a grim fact. Before the phone burns into ash, I can see the text of Bowser announcing his early vacation end and coming to the castle. And that glowing bird has Spawny. I think I can tell what’s going on.
“Guys, let’s go.” I say. The group nods and prepares to run but I hold them off saying “I got this.” Looking through my phone, I see my option and press it. Suddenly there’s a giant car in front of us ready roll out.
One huddle later, we’re driving to Bowser’s Castle. We saw some things like a lava Rabid and a Rabid of Wario and Waluigi but I just pressed a button and rocket launched their butts off. I’m pretty sure I ran over Bowser Jr but I could care less about that brat.
We arrive at the top and we dismount off the car. I turn the car into an RPG and get ready to what’s to come. Not too much to my surprise is a giant glowing Bowser with wings ready to kill us all(And probably fail). Bowser goes and spits fireball at us. We all dodge and he goes and summons these weird rabbids with gun on their armor on their...actually I’d rather not say it. I tell someone to kill them and voila, they’re dead. I proceed to shoot at Bowser along with Yoshi(Who has his own RPG) and than boom. Bowser is barely phased and sends fireballs into the sky. We all get under Peach’s umbrella which protects us all from the blast(I also copy it cause why not, this thing seems OP).
The others begin shooting at him but due to some reason, they only fire once and not spam the thing. Somehow, I feel like have to so I do it(Goddamnit super nautral forces). Bowser just phases out and just fires more fireballs up in the air. Alright, time for the umbrella. Now I have my own umbrella. Peach in her own parasol just stares at me. I shush and she turns away.
I walk towards the Bowser. From what I know, Mario bosses have phases. This should be Phase 2 and next is the final one. Bowser is still making it rain fireballs but he doesn’t see me, so here's my chance. What to use...sniper, RPG, bones, Freddy Head,...f*** it, Banana Cream Cake Launcher. Now my parasol is now an RPG with a cake instead of a missle. Let’s do this.
“FIRE IN THE HOLE!” I scream as a cake is fired to Bowser. He just turns and eats it. Worried am I. Nope. 3, 2, 1….
Bowser proceeds to blow up and when the dusts clears, there that bird thingy and an unconscious Bowser(I should mention I was drunk when I invented it, don’t ask or I’ll find you and delete your Minecraft account). The bird charges at me but it get’s hit by some projectiles behind me. Thank you Mario and the gang. The bird falls into lava and flies back up and finally, disintegrates. Spawny is in the middle of the remnants and falls. Luigi catches him, than freaks out as usual and throws him off.
“OH GOD, NO!!!” I yell as I dive in and turn my phone into a freddy head, catching Spawny(So the head was useful after all, nice). I hold him and look at the group. “Well guys, I thank you all for your help.” I say. The Mario gang bow to me and the rabbids...do rabbid stuff. I touch the goggle of Spawny and realise something.
“Guys, I think I can get out here and help Spawny out.” I say. The group looks at me and stares. Then Mario nods with approval. Well, let’s get to work.
Day 8[]
Alright, Spawny is not a normal Rabbid doing...stuff. My portal is now working and I’m ready to go now. Before I go, I look at Mario and say “It’s been an honor Mr. Face of Game.”while holding my hand to him. Mario looks confused at first but he eventually grunts(In a good way) and shakes hand. I bid him farewell and go in...come to think of it, I should’ve told him about the explosion part but he’ll be fine.
Where am I...in a plain. This doesn’t seem as bad as an office or a god dang pit. I think I can work with th…OWWWWW!!!!
I look down to my chest to see an axe to my chest. A dark figure lifts the axe up from my back and proceeds to swing. Then another figure suddenly appears and I see a decapitation happening. The new person looks at me, long haired and blue dressed and asks this. “Are you hurt? I know some people who can help you. Kiran wouldn’t mind.” Then I pass out.