User blog:GamerNerd i/Army of Three Act II

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“Comfy in there again?” asks Nadia, who's right in Rotom’s face. It's quite a close-up.

“Yezz- uh, ma’am! Camera online! Jetzzz online!” Nadia steps back as Rotom rises slightly. “Do I get to use these… What are these again?” Nadia rushes back close to prevent something from dropping with a click.

“Not yet, triggerhappy,” she says, backing up again. “We don’t have any spare serum yet.”

Rotom pulls the focus away from Nadia and to Damason, who’s standing nearby. He’s confused. “I still don’t understand why the drone needs to charge if this guy,” referring to Rotom, “is pure electric energy.”

“I already explained this, and we don’t have time anymore,” Nadia responds. “Come on, Aidan is getting anxious.”

Sure enough, Aidan is waiting by an open portal. He’s more fidgety than usual, conjuring little elemental sparks between his restless hands. “Are you really sure about this?” He asks. “I think this is the one time I’d take FnaF over PvZ.”

“I’m sure,” Damason responds firmly. “Besides, these guys aren’t really that deadly. What are you so afraid of?”

“I… Nothing,” Aidan says quietly. “Go on and head through.”

Damason hops through the rift. Nadia looks Aidan in the face, her hands on his shoulders. “You don’t have to go,” she whispers. “I can handle him.”

“No, it’s fine,” Aidan mutters. “I need to deal with this head-on eventually, and besides, this Suburbia is a lot bigger than the one you’re used to,” he pulls away and walks toward the opening. “You guys would get lost without me.”

The Recreators walk through together, Rotom following close behind.

On the other side, Damason is inspecting a large portal as Aidan closes his. “This… What is this?” He mutters.

“That’s the Mystery Portal,” Aidan says. “It links Suburbia with a highly unstable battleground controlled by gnomes.” He walks over to a small monitor nearby the portal. “They can alter the physics and other things as they see fit. See, you can read the alterations here. Let’s see…” Tracing the words with his finger, Aidan reads the text. “This is ‘Rando’s Revenge’ with Speed Boost Craziness and Unlimited Ammo. Sounds fun.”

“I just needed to hear ‘highly unstable.’ Let’s go!” Damason jumps into the blue vortex before anyone could react.

“Stultus puer!” Nadia exclaims. “Nos- I mean, we need to go after him!”

“Well, obviously, go go go!” Both jump through the portal with Rotom following.

For about a minute, there is only a blue vortex. Random object swirl around in it, with Nadia and Aidan tumbling all over. Rotom sounded like he was having a blast.

And then, abruptly, there was dirt.

There's darkness for a moment as Rotom struggles to maneuver his airplane body out of the ground, small pebbles clanking against the metal. Looking around, the two Recreators’ heads stick out of the ground nearby. Rotom, being his mischievous little self, just laughs as they struggle to free themselves. Admittedly, the banter was a little funny.

“Aaand there goes my skirt. Wait, what are you doing?”

“Trying to free myself. Is that your arm?”

“No, that's my leg!”

“Why is your leg the- AGH! WHY’D YOU KICK ME THERE?”

“Oh, that was your- Hey, don't grab that!”

“Wait, that's… Oh, uh, oops? Also, you just kicked that, please don't touch it.”

“I… I didn't mean to! Can we just- Agh, hold on…”

The earth around the two heads rumbles and slowly rises. As all the loose dirt falls around them, the heads become full bodies standing on a large slab of brown rock.

“I'll be totally honest, I did not expect that burial thing at all,” Aidan says. “Although I guess, considering the spawning animation, that it makes some sense.”

Nadia dusts off he clothes as best she can. “Yeah, but we've wasted enough time. We’ve gotta find that kid.” She looks at her surroundings before asking, “Wait, is this China?”

“Inspired by, but not quite. This is Zen Peak.” He glances at the large tree in front of him. “And we’re in the middle of the map. Good, we can split up.”

“Actually, you said that we’re faster here, right?”

“Yeah, so sea-“ Nadia seems to blink in and out of existence briefly. Her hair also flutters around her messily where is was (relatively) neat. “Uh… What’d you just do?”

“Wow, that’s a lot of Speed Force energy. I found him, come on.” Taking Aidan’s hand, both of them disappear, much to Rotom’s confusion.

“Zzrt? Aw…” Rotom ascends to get a view of the entire map. Various Plant-Zombie skirmishes are happening everywhere. No one stops to reload; Well, no one stops, period. The movements are difficult to track so many at once, but the one of interest is in a small village, where three children are surrounded by Plants on one side and Zombies on the other. Rotom dives toward the action to get a better look.

Damason somehow obtained a Deadbeard’s trick weapon. He knows how to use it pretty well, switching between far-off and nearby targets fluidly. Occasionally a Plant or Zombie will get too close and he’ll punch it square in the face, which was pretty funny to be honest. In his other hand, he holds his transport device aloft, as if trying to get a wi-fi signal.

Nadia is a literal blur, nearly indistinguishable. She also appears to have a pair of claws extended, judging by the glint of metal and the diced remains of each opponent she leaves behind. Combining these claws with her immense speed, she dispatches threats one at a time, but at a very fast rate. Somehow the threats keep coming.

Aidan is doing his part too. A distinct blue blur zips among the armies, ramming into whole lines of troops. Occasionally he appears in a particularly crowded area to swing a massive paint roller downwards, covering a considerable area in green liquid. Seemingly randomly, other areas previously in his path explode into the same green liquid.

Rotom approaches Damason, who is preoccupied with shooting things with shotgun blasts of random metal pieces and a few doubloons.

“Come on, pick up, pick up!” He mutters incessantly. He seems to spot something behind Rotom, saying, “Move over,” before sniping something out of the sky. “Stupid Garlics.”

“I thought the plantzzz were friendly…” Rotom says.

“Yeah, well, not right now,” he replies. “Apparently these ones think we’re Zombies, and the Zombies - STAY DOWN DAMMIT!” An Imp gets punched in the face. “Apparently my hosts are wanted criminals of Zomboss.”

A Chomper springs up behind Damason. Nadia zips into view, stopping as the Chomper falls into three pieces luridly beside her. “How are we doing, Damason? Got a rift yet?”

“Not yet,” the boy replies. “The temporal stability isn’t as low as I’d like, and the interdimensional fissures haven’t even ruptured yet.” He glances at his device. “The tensile strength between the strings in this area are also exponentially- Look out, Garg!”

The hulking beast of a Gargantuar charges toward the two, but not before a blue ball of momentum slams it away. Through the laws of inertia, the Garg is thrown aside as Aidan bounces off its chest and sticks the landing. He also has a weird mechanical headband that wasn’t there earlier.

“They’re bringing in the bosses now. That’s not good.” Tugging at the thing on his head, he finds it stuck. “The fact that I got this thing slapped on me is also disconcerting, but probably won’t matter.” He casually leans on his massive paint roller. “Although what is good is that I managed to get the two rivals to mix, so they’re fighting each other now.” He tosses a tube behind him, which explodes shortly after it lands, much to the surprise of the soldiers around it. He laughs, “I find it amazing that the three of us kept two whole armies separated enough so that they had no idea we were fighting the other.”

“That’s impressive, but it’s not helping me much,” Damason interjects, waving his transporter in the air.

“In which case, let’s take a strategic retreat briefly,” says Nadia. She grabs onto both boys’ hands and disappears in a sonic boom, much to Rotom’s chagrin. Rotom ascends and finds the trio on the opposite side of the map.

“The conditions here are perfect!” Damason exclaims, looking at his remote control thing. “Give me a minute or two and I can go!” He excitedly starts fidgeting with the device, which begins to hum.

A voice speaks out from behind a nearby - well, the only nearby building. “That’s a shame, my boy, since you won’t be getting that minute,” a glop of purple goo knocks the device out of his hands. Damason yells and scrambles for his device as a Scientist and a Zoologist emerge from the shadows.

Fear overtakes Aidan as he sees the two Zombies and touches the band on his head. “Oh, s***. I really f***** myself over this time, didn’t I?”

“Neglecting your reckless use of expletives, you have indeed. Now, let’s see if I remember what da- er, Professor Brainstorm told me…”

Before anyone can react, he tosses a ball into the air and zaps it with a remote that shoots out a thunderbolt. The ball grows in size, and a small moon hovers above the group within a few seconds.

Aidan turns and runs, hiding his eyes from the artificial planetoid. Nadia leaps at Scientist and knocks him down, but not before he tosses out another one into Aidan’s path of flight.

The bad moon rises right before Aidan’s eyes. He stumbles in surprise at its sudden appearance.

“No! You idiot!” Fur begins to grow from… Well, everywhere. His arms tense as his fingers dig into the ground. “You don’t know how much you’ve screwed yourself over!”

“Okay, someone tell me what the heck is happening!” Damason has retrieved and put away his transporter for the moment. He points his sniper/shotgun at the two Zombies. “You two! What did you-“ Glancing at Aidan, he stops himself. “What the hell is that?”

The features of a human are soon taken over by those of a grey canine. Aidan’s nose and mouth extend into a snout. The voice of a boy struggling to suppress something are replaced with the snarls of a beast. Soon, the only remnant of the boy are his clothes, which, surprisingly, fits the bulkier and more hunched over body of a Worgen. A chilling (although cliched) howl solidifies Aidan’s transformation.

In one fluid movement, Nadia rolls off Scientist and fires a dart from a blowgun at her transformed partner. The howl is interrupted and replaced with a snarl. Turning to the camera, the wolfman’s eyes are filled with rage- for a moment. The blind rage is replaced with sentience and caring.

“It… It worked. It worked!” Aidan’s new voice is gruff, but intelligent. The anger returns as he sets his eyes on Scientist and Zoologist. “Now for you two!” With a snarl, he leaps at Scientist.

Scientist frantically warps out of the way. “You! Zoologist! Do something!” He yells as he tries to dodge Aidan’s leaping strikes.

“Yes sir! Mental link established! Bestial presence dete-“ A coin smacks Zoologist in the mouth. “Ack! What Deadbeard-“ He is interrupted by a long bone swinging right into his face.

Damason proceeds to go to town on Zoologist, smacking him around with his bone. “Don’t you frickin’ dare! These guys are helping me get home and I will get home!” Nadia joins in on the fun, trying to stomp Zoologist into the ground.

Despite the beating he’s getting, Zoologist manages to yell, “Mind control OW initiated! Stop OW fighting!”

The lights on Aidan’s headband begin blinking brighter and faster. He stops mid-swipe and grabs his head, struggling once again for control. “Are you… Kidding me…” Aidan falls to the ground, still gripping his head. “I can't keep two other minds in check at once!” The mind control device starts smoking.

“That's a shame,” Scientist says, getting up. “Let's knock one of the other ones out of the picture, shall we?” He puts his Goo Blaster up to Aidan's head and fires. Aidan collapses. “Now, who's still in there?” He asks, stopping to Aidan's level.

“One feral beast,” Aidan responds, holding up a broken headband, “And one really p***** off teenager.” He crushes the headband in his bare ha- er, wolf claws. “Thanks for cutting the leash, pal.”

Scientist stumbles backwards in fear. “No! How! Why?” He stutters. He procures a walkie-talkie and yells into it as Aidan charges at him. “Full retreat! NOW!” Scientist warps toward the battered Zoologist, grabbing him before warping away for good.

“Where the heck did he go?” Damason asks at Zoologist’s sudden disappearance.

“Warp remotes,” Aidan replies, trying to straighten out his clothes as best he can. “All Scientists have them. Reusable short-range teleportation. Makes them pretty annoying.” He tosses a small box with a single button to Damason. “You use that Deadbeard weapon pretty well. Here’s another Zombie implement for your collection.”

“Oh, thanks. Let me just…” His bone morphs back into his phone. He points the camera at the remote briefly then tosses it back. “I don't need the actual thing. This will do just fine.” The phone morphs into an exact replica of the remote, before changing back. Damason pockets his phone and takes a good look at Aidan again. “Werewolf, huh? Funny I didn't see any in the Underground.”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Aidan looks down as if realizing that he's still an animal. “I think I can just… Oh, poop. Pardon me for a second.” He goes behind a nearby rock. Various sounds start coming from it which I don’t want to discuss.

Damason turns to Nadia after a confused glance at the rock. “How’d it happen? Or are werewolves actually real in your time?”

Nadia laughs at the question. “No, he's likely to be the only lycan you'll meet from the nonfictional world.” She looks at Aidan’s rock before shaking her head. “As for how… Well, that’s a long story, and not one that’s mine to tell.”

Aidan emerges as a human. “That’s better.” His voice no longer sounds like he’s always growling. “Now, Damason, will you be on your way?”

“Yes I will.” Damason smiles for the first time I’ve seen and shakes both Aidan and Nadia’s hands and waves to Rotom. “Thank you guys. I really hope this is the last warp.”

“Whether or not it is, I hope you’ll drop in again sometime,” Nadia says, smirking. “Although preferably not as literally as you did before.”

“Maybe once I figure out how to control where I land, I will.” His remote control starts humming and space warps around him. “Until then, wish me luck!” The distortion gets more apparent by the second. “Oh yeah, and stand back because when I leave this thing will exp-“ His final words are cut off by his blinking out of existence. The black warp device is left, crackling with electricity.

“Did your mind complete that sentence in the same way that mine did?”

“I’ve probably played too many cliched evacuation levels, but I think so.”

“What’re you- Oh noezzz!” Rotom’s realization prompts him to zoom high up into the air as Aidan and Nadia take cover.

Sure enough, the thing explodes.

Peeking out, Nadia approaches the blast zone. “I guess we kinda deserve that considering our first message.”

“Speaking of messages… There’s a USB drive here.” Aidan picks up a small black thing. “Well, either way, that’s that I guess. Let’s get home. I have homework to do.”

Both signal to Rotom and the footage blanks.