User blog:Milesprower2/Everything Wrong With Plants vs. Zombies 1 In X Minutes Or Less Part 2

Part 2 of this blog.

I can't get the number list to start at 147...I'll give the total number of sins at the bottom of the blog though. Wow, there's more wrong with this game than I thought.
 * 1) In the Almanac, why does it list recharge timers as "fast", "slow" and "very slow"? Surely fast, medium and slow would work better?
 * 2) Sunlight and carbon dioxide are all a Peashooter needs to shoot out peas, something that no plant can actually do no matter how much sunlight or carbon dioxide they get.
 * 3) Sunflowers are not essential, like the Almanac says. Especially at night, due to Sun-shrooms.
 * 4) Funny, Sunflower bounces to a beat only she can hear, when most plants bob from side to side as well.
 * 5) How do the Cherry Twins have time for intense consultation when they explode almost instantly?
 * 6) Explodonate isn't a word.
 * 7) Powie sounds nothing like an explosion.
 * 8) If Wall-nut doesn't feel pain when being chewed on, why does he start frowning?
 * 9) Potato Mine doesn't really need to worry about an investment strategy when he's going to self-destruct soon.
 * 10) Spudow sounds nothing like an explosion.
 * 11) "that damage and slow the enemy". You mean enemies.
 * 12) Snow Pea can roll his eyes?
 * 13) Chomper ate his agent, despite it probably not being a zombie.
 * 14) Eating agents isn't part of the business. It's not part of any business.
 * 15) The Almanac doesn't explain how Repeater is able to shoot faster than Peashooter.
 * 16) Surely this is in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, how can anyone not be aware of the existence of zombies? What is Puff-shroom, an idiot?
 * 17) Sun-shroom hates sun so much he is probably a vampire.
 * 18) Fume-shrooms fumes are deadly, doesn't using spores from such a deadly mushroom in a bakery break some kind of health code regulation?
 * 19) Grave Buster's appearance is apparently fearsome.
 * 20) Surely Hypno-shroom should be working at the zombie rehabilitation center, not Grave Buster?
 * 21) According to Hypno-shroom, zombies play a valuable role in our ecology. And yet, somehow, I think we could live without brain-eaters.
 * 22) Also, only Hypno-shroom can do anything to bring them around to our way of thinking, and yet he says "we can and should do more"
 * 23) "stops shooting when enemy is close". WHEN ENEMIES ARE CLOSE. SORT OUT YOUR F**KING GRAMMAR!
 * 24) Scaredy-shroom seems to be afraid of anything except clowns, one of the most widely feared things ever.
 * 25) Ice-shroom's face is paralyzed. That's so ironic.
 * 26) "Doom-shrooms destroy everything in a large area" Except plants, graves, Gargantuars, Giga-gargantuars, and so on.
 * 27) Also, Doom-shroom is a nuke.
 * 28) Doom sounds nothing like an explosion.
 * 29) According to the Almanac, Lily Pad doesn't talk. And he is a good guy. So he's a silent protagonist.
 * 30) "Squashes will smash the first zombie..." SMASH??? It's a Squash, not a Smash!
 * 31) Squash seems very eager to fight zombies, despite that causing him to die.
 * 32) Also, "put me in!" and "I need this!" seem like they COULD have secondary meanings.
 * 33) If there's a joke in Threepeater's flavour text, it went over my head.
 * 34) "I'll just hide here just below the surface" More than half of you is above the surface, you're doing a f**king bad job of hiding!
 * 35) Also, if Tangle Kelp always tries to stay invisible and hidden, how does he have friends?
 * 36) Jalapeno's flavour text sounds like a bad s*x scene. "Oh so soon" "It's close" "He can feel it" "NNNNNGGGGG" Yep. Definitely.
 * 37) I don't understand why a weed would like hockey or why he'd be terrified of pucks.
 * 38) Wait, Garden Warfare weaponized ice pucks. Maybe he predicts the future.
 * 39) Torchwood is a TV series.
 * 40) "turns peas into fireballs" You mean fire peas!
 * 41) Torchwood can't read, but he'd be great at book burning.
 * 42) Tall-nut "can't be vaulted or jumped over" despite both those words meaning basically the same thing.
 * 43) Sea-shroom's recharge shouldn't be slow. That's unfair.
 * 44) Plantern's range is listed as "one lane".
 * 45) Plantern defies science and the other plants don't?
 * 46) The Almanac says Cactuses, not Cacti.
 * 47) Cactus dates an Armadillo. Isn't that an interspecies relationship? And for that matter, does this mean animals in the PvZ universe are intelligent as well as plants and fungi?
 * 48) Blover's Almanac entry says he blew out 60% of the candles on his fifth birthday. Why not just say three of the candles?
 * 49) Split Pea is a Gemini, meaning the plants believe in astrology, the biggest load of BS known to man.
 * 50) Split Pea's back head is just a head-like growth. Yet in PvZ2, it's shown that both heads are intelligent, meaning that the back head is surely more than a head-like growth?
 * 51) Starfruit got only four cavities in one tooth. I'd have expected five because it's a five-pointed star.
 * 52) Also, why does Starfruit even have a tooth?
 * 53) Pumpkin's cousin is in Peggle, meaning that Peggle and PvZ are both in the same universe.
 * 54) Magnet-shroom's Almanac leaves out the range.
 * 55) What does "lobbed" range mean? Why do they have to have a separate range listed for catapults?
 * 56) "Cabbage-pult just doesn't know how the zombies get up on the roof in the first place" Cabbage-pult would be great at CinemaSins.
 * 57) Also, plants apparently get paid. Is the sun cost the payment?
 * 58) Flower Pot, you are not also a plant. You are just a pot.
 * 59) Also, Flower Pot's Almanac entry is WAAAY too short.
 * 60) Kernel-pults Almanac says that kernels do light damage and butter does normal damage, when kernels are as strong as peas and butter is twice as strong.
 * 61) There are only three pult brothers? Where does Winter Melon fit into this then? Or Sap-fling? Or Pepper-pult?
 * 62) Coffee Bean is more hyperactive than Pinkie Pie. Something is wrong in the universe when something is more hyperactive than Pinkie Pie.
 * 63) Garlic's usage is listed as "on contact", when it's actually "upon biting".
 * 64) Garlic has a wife, yet no other plant apparently has.
 * 65) Also, plants shouldn't even HAVE genders. Real plants don't.
 * 66) Umbrella Leaf is high on Coffee Beans.
 * 67) Umbrella Leaf is probably friends with Jacks and Pogos.
 * 68) If Marigold decides which coin to spit out, why doesn't she ALWAYS GIVE US GOLD???
 * 69) Melon-pult's wrong, sun-for-damage, Puff-shroom and Sea-shroom are more powerful.
 * 70) How does upgrading a plant work?
 * 71) Gatling Pea's mouth as four small holes for peas to be shot out from, and yet the peas are still normal-sized.
 * 72) Also, plants have a military organization, and yet most plants that fight zombies aren't a part of it.
 * 73) Twin Sunflower is unoriginal.
 * 74) Twin Sunflower's Almanac is a bad horror movie scene.
 * 75) Did Dr. Zomboss create Twin Sunflower? It certainly seems like an evil genius created it.
 * 76) I'm really trying to find a sin in Gloom-shroom's Almanac Entry, really I am, but I can't find anything wrong with it. And a sin-less Almanac Entry counts as a sin.
 * 77) Grave Buster must surely love Cattail.
 * 78) Cattail tries just a little too hard to be a dog.
 * 79) Winter Melon's Almanac implies it shoots slower than Melon-pults and deals more damage.
 * 80) Winter Melon seems almost as afraid of the zombies as Scaredy-shroom.
 * 81) Gold Magnet exists.
 * 82) Gold Magnet collects diamonds.
 * 83) Gold Magnet collects gold coins even though gold isn't magnetic.
 * 84) Gold Magnet is gold and magnetic.
 * 85) Gold Magnet isn't nocturnal.
 * 86) Aside from the leaves and stalk, Gold Magnet is nothing like any plant.
 * 87) Gold Magnet has probably got the most sins out of any plant.
 * 88) Spikerock isn't a plant.
 * 89) Spikerock has more health than any other plant ever.
 * 90) Spikerock apparently likes museums, and yet knew almost nothing about them.
 * 91) How does Cob Cannon's corn explode?
 * 92) It's not very obvious that Imitater is a potato.
 * 93) Imitater can't imitate upgrades.
 * 94) Imitater is nearly forty years old, maybe even more than that. HOW DOES A POTATO LIVE THAT LONG???
 * 95) Giant Wall-nuts are unoriginal.
 * 96) Giant Wall-nuts can't be used outside of Wall-nut Bowling, unless you hack.
 * 97) The basic zombie has no standards when it comes to brains.
 * 98) Why doesn't Flag Zombie try to eat his flag?
 * 99) "marks the arrival of a huge pile or "wave" of zombies" Why did they even bother saying pile?
 * 100) "traffic cone headpiece makes him twice as tough" He has nearly triple the health of a regular zombie.
 * 101) "Pole Vaulting Zombie vaults with a pole" While the opening line of Almanac entries usually states the obvious, this is just silly.
 * 102) Why does Buckethead Zombie care about being unique? He's a mindless zombie after all.
 * 103) I'd freak out too if I was Newspaper Zombie.
 * 104) Screen Door Zombie's screen door is NOT an effective shield.
 * 105) Of course Screen Door Zombie stole the door and ate it's owner's brains. What would he do, ask nicely?
 * 106) Football Zombie has no idea what a football is, yet he remembers that he used to play football.
 * 107) The first line of Dancing Zombie's Almanac was only funny when it was the MJ Zombie.
 * 108) "summons back-up dancers" There's usually no hyphen, why is there here?
 * 109) The undead have music charts.
 * 110) Zombies have taken over New York City in this world.
 * 111) Zombies sometimes give up on brains forever when trying to learn how to use ducky tubes? Is there a Hypno-shroom in disguise teaching them about ducky tubes?
 * 112) Snorkel Zombie's Almanac entry mentions a big flaw with the zombies, a sin from part 1 of this blog. Then it dismisses it with "peer pressure".
 * 113) Zombonis don't look like space ogres.
 * 114) GOTY version ruins the Almanac entry of the Zomboni.
 * 115) Bobsled Team's flavour text starts in the past tense "worked hard" and then moves to present tense "live together, train together and eat brains together".
 * 116) "The dolphin is also a zombie" You don't say?
 * 117) Jack-in-the-Box Zombie looks crazy, the almanac doesn't have to confirm my suspicions.
 * 118) Sproing sounds nothing like an explosion.
 * 119) Balloon Zombie's almanac doesn't mention the weakness to Cattail, or explosive plants.
 * 120) Also, I forgot this last time, but how does one balloon hold up the entire zombie?
 * 121) Digger Zombie bothers with excavation permits?
 * 122) Why does Digger Zombie spin when he surfaces? All it does is get him dizzy so he walks the wrong way and leaves your brains alone.
 * 123) Sproing! Is also the sound you hear right before a zombie explodes and the sound of a plant deflecting stuff. Pogo Zombie, you're not the only thing that makes that noise.
 * 124) The Almanac entry for Zombie Yeti shows that we know quite a lot about it.
 * 125) "what's the point of being dead if you don't live a little?" That's actually a very valid point. A valid point made by a mindless zombie.
 * 126) Tell me where Ladder Zombie picked up a ladder for that price.
 * 127) "basketballs seemed like the best and most obvious choice" In what universe is that obvious, even to a zombie?
 * 128) Garg can't find a girlfriend? Why do zombies even want girlfriends?
 * 129) Gargantuar's toughness is extremely high, yet Zomboss's is just extreme.
 * 130) "Imps are tiny zombies hurled by Gargantuar" GARGANTUARS!
 * 131) How many people who read the Imp's Almanac entry knew what the melodica is?
 * 132) "set about establishing absolute dominance of his local subdivision" Start out small I guess...then move onto taking over the entire world.
 * 133) Trash Can Zombie only exists to be a zombie Wall-nut, and fails at that.
 * 134) Target Zombie dies when his shield is destroyed.
 * 135) Why is there an achievement for typing mustache?
 * 136) No-Cob-No-Explode is stupid. Most people won't use Cob Cannons in their first time beating Last Stand.
 * 137) Why does Chill Out's description have to rhyme?
 * 138) Blind Faith and variations of that achievement are usually not identical. Some versions allow Torchwoods, others don't.
 * 139) Lucky Spin, depending on version, is either insanely hard or really easy to get.
 * 140) Either way, it's luck-based.
 * 141) Chilli Free is luck-based.
 * 142) You can't get Wall-Not Attack in Zombotany 2.
 * 143) Gotcha! Is luck-based.
 * 144) ZFF's 4 Evr basically means "Zombie Friends Forever Forever".
 * 145) Also, shouldn't it be PFF's, Plant Friends Forever?
 * 146) Alive and Planting is for 40 flags, but Immortal, which sounds a lot harder to get, is just for 20?

Looks like I'll have to make part 3 for Mini-games, Puzzles, Survival, Shop, and the Zen Garden.

Total sins so far: 292.