User blog:DeathZombi/I fell back...and I can't get up....

Last week I entered chat and I ended up swearing. And Starfruity had no choice but to ban me for a week. I accepted it responsibly and I had some time in real life...But...I realized this will hurt me in the long run...

I was a staff member and it isn't an example to be blocked to show others. I felt like this severed trusts between me and other staff and users....

I feel like no one is going to forgive me....

I feel like no one will ever trust me again because I got blocked. Users who are so mature like Someone456 and others... It shows them of how bad of a user I am compared to them...

I feel like I basically decimated my chances of being an admin in the future. What Starfruity said to me on my appeal thread and that I showed promise... I just threw that away... You can't be blocked to be an admin. And I ruined my oppurtunity...

I feel like no one will accept my apology. I mean users like WinterMagnet and NapalmRosalina who promised to behave but broke them....

I feel like an immature person now. If I was mature, I wouldn't have acted as I did and I wouldn't be suffering now...change...

I feel like I can't do anything to change this. Via FB, Starfruity told me this is a setback, but its more than just a "setback". Making better edits won't change anything....It won't redeem me...

You know what I feel completely worthless now. This is just ruining me.

I am sorry for what happened!

I AM SORRY AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AGAIN!

I WANT PEOPLE TO TRUST ME AGAIN!

I WANT TO......


 * cries*

change....

Will anyone even help me now...