User blog:Ballistic Planet/Ranking every PVZ2 Premium plant from worst to best - totally not stolen from Moon Snail Edition

Obviously the title gives away my inspiration. I've felt like I've wanted to do some writing again recently, and this is a good place for me to start with, talking about plant quality. My rankings are based on my viability rankings, and I may refer to them from time to time. This will include gemiums, but won't include anything obtainable with seed packets or mints. All plants are assumed level 1, and this ranking is based on single player. Let's rock!

#44 Chomper


When talking about Chomper, it's very easy to kick a dead horse and talk about how awful it is - so I'll spare you the details. All you need to know about Chomper is that even though it's technically buffed from the first game, this plant is still so useless that it struggles even in the Big Wave Beach levels designed around it. This thing immediately begins struggling if there are more than two zombies in its lane. This plant is how you make a reusable instant look like complete garbage.

It's Plant Food is pretty nice though.

#43 Pea-nut


Unlike many, I actually enjoy the idea of a Peashooter/Wall-nut hybrid existing in game. Such a shame that the Peashooter aspect is entirely useless, making this plant essentially a Wall-nut that costs three times the amount of sun. The shorter recharge is nice (and recently with Reinforce-mint this plant had some new life breathed into it), but if it wants to be even remotely viable today it'd have to have that elusive fast recharge.

#42 Hypno-shroom


Like I can't quantifiably say that Hypno-shroom is useless, but at this point it's so far outclassed and out of a job that talking about it is just sad. Hypnotizing one zombie isn't impressive anymore when there's a plant that can hypnotize multiple zombies or another plant that literally creates them. It's decent plant to start with (but Potato Mine, Squash, and any one of the many other good starting plants), but really feels like nothing more.

#41 Electric Currant


So this plant was a cool experiment, and is actually pretty decent when upgraded (so is like everything), but Electric Currant's damage is too mediocre, requires a strategy built around to be anywhere near useful, and the strategy you can build is so flimsy that this plant just falls apart no matter where you look at it. Still a very unique plant design, however.

#40 Dandelion


Another plant where every knows exactly how awful it is, even after being buffed. It's too expensive, and it doesn't attack consistently enough to be seen as anything more than a meme. Admittedly this is plant that needs more experimentation, since I think that if used in the right strategy, it could be good. Either we haven't found the strat yet, or this plant actually sucks. I'm one for experimentation, so let's see if I can figure something out.

#39 Blooming Heart


I've made comparisons with this plant to Cabbage-pult in the past, and though I can say that they haven't quite held up, it's really, really close to being true. Blooming Heart is a unique concept in a game that just wasn't built to support it. Really though the closest thing this has to a niche is being an early game plant, which in that case there are many premiums that do that better.

#38 Snow Pea


Simply put, Snow Pea is designed to be an early game plant and nothing more. That's fine, we need them. The thing with it is though is that is all Snow Pea is good for. In that regard, it's decent, but there's better. Works shockingly well with Winter-mint though.

#37 Torchwood


People have talked about this plant to death too so I'll save most of the details. Torchwood was nerfed from PVZ1, and because of that the plant is generally terrible in most situations. Strategies revolving around it are greatly inefficient, with its only niches being in Frostbite Caves and in last stand levels. I've heard it's also got a good niche in Battlez, so good for it I guess.

#36 Starfruit


This is my go to plant for killing Octo Zombies. Aside from that however, this plant is just really bad. Although when spammed its DPS can be quite good against tough zombies, it's hard for that to work really well since there's often a swarm of zombies coming out. Even against Octos, I prefer Phat Beet, since Phat Beet's DPS, although slightly worse, also hits more of the octos around him. He's also free, meaning there's not really a reason to purchase Starfruit unless you really want all the plants in this game.

Mention also goes out to Starfruit's Plant Food effect, which does a massive amount of damage when zombies are on top of it.

#35 Cactus


There's a trend here when it comes to premium plants: plants who's only niche is in the early game - and Cactus fits that to a tee. It's actually pretty solid early game, but it falls off so hard that you forget you've even planted it by the late game. It doesn't help that this plant becomes significantly worse if zombies are near it, since it loses a lot of DPS by hiding. Overall it's not the worst plant you could buy, but there's definitely better.

#34 Toadstool


Funny how Toadstool is numerically 10 places up from Chomper. Anyways, I think a lot of people undersell Toadstool. Admittedly yes, it's not a great plant in most situations. This thing sucks really badly in Endless Zones, it's eating time is pretty obnoxious, and the sun production aspect of it is admittedly quite gimmicky. Where this plant really shines however is that it's actually really good in most regular levels. Toadstool is a surprisingly effective early game plant thanks to the range-advantage it has over Chomper. What's more, Toadstool doesn't fall off quite as hard as Chomper does, making Toadstool the superior choice always. The range advantage on Toadstool is very substantial and should not be overlooked. Although this should never be your first purchase (in fact there's little reason to buying this plant now anyway, since there's a lot of plants now that can do what it does), it's a cute plant that isn't bad per se.

#33 Homing Thistle


Once they fixed its accuracy, Homing Thistle has come back as a cool option for early game defense. Once again, it does really suck in Endless Zones, but it's use in normal levels is actually not too bad, and it works well with Spear-mint. The reason why it's so low is because it's pretty much entirely outclassed by Sling Pea now, meaning you never really have a reason to use this if you have the option of using Sling Pea.

#32 Aloe


On paper, Aloe seems like a really bad plant, and in practice, that's mostly true. However, this thing has so many insane synergies that it's enough to carry Aloe from useless status to being a somewhat usable plant. It has fantastic synergies with Holly Barrier and Chard Guard, and even works decently with Endurian, Garlic Kiwibeast, and Pea-nut. In Reinforce-mint based strategies, Aloe is definitely a usable choice. Although the plant requires these synergies in order to be usable, Aloe shouldn't be overlooked.

#31 Fire Peashooter


Fire Peashooter is a fantastic offensive starting plant in Frostbite Caves, and a pretty mediocre starting offensive plant anywhere else, but usable. Although I prefer Wasabi Whip, Fire Peashooter is good because it deals with a lot of early zombies quite easily, and isn't entirely useless once you've made it past the early game. Although it's hard to call Fire Peashooter a good plant, since it has a lot of weaknesses, it's at least usable, and a good option (especially for gems) for those looking to get some leverage in Frostbite Caves.

#30 Squash


The problem with Squash isn't that it's bad, because it's really not. Squash is a decent plant. The problem comes from the fact that it's wildly outclassed by pretty much every other instant in the game. It's more expensive then Potato Mine, doesn't have the AOE killing power of the explosives or Jalapeno, and doesn't have the ability to disable entire areas like Hurrikale or Solar Tomato. Because of this, Squash is almost never considered, and realistically shouldn't be considered since it's a pretty average plant, and most other plants get the job done better.

#29 Witch Hazel


Although very similar to Electric Blueberry and Caulipower, I put Witch Hazel down a peg because it's main gimmick (transforming zombies) fails more often then you think due to it not working when a zombie is near another plant, and it's slightly more expensive then Electric Blueberry, meaning Witch Hazel is kind of just worse than both of them, however slightly. Realistically though it's not a big difference, but just big enough that it's worth a mention.

#28 Electric Blueberry and #27 Caulipower


These plants are really strong when spammed, but their high seed packet cooldown really holds them back. Caulipower is the best of the reusable instants imo since it has the best effect (hypnotization), while Electric Blueberry has the fastest attack rate, and it's the cheapest. Both of these plants suffer from what I like to call "dipshit targeting" (like it's really bad), so they aren't seen terrible much. However, they're aren't particularly bad.

#26 Sweet Potato


Although entirely outclassed by Hot Date, Sweet Potato, if played correctly, can be the only defensive plant you ever need. However, it can be pretty hard to play with Sweet Potato, and it's very prone to being removed through the numerous amount of zombies that just don't eat or can get around it. But when Sweet Potato it works, it works very well.

#25 Jack O' Lantern


Jack O' Lantern is a very mechanics intense plant. When played correctly, Jack O' Lantern is very solid at clearing out vast amount of zombies, as it has very solid DPS. More often then not however, it tends to be a liability more often then not, and it's very hard to use Jack O' Lantern to its fully extent. However, if one can play Jack O' Lantern correctly, it can be a devastating force. Also very solid warming plant in Frostbite Caves.

#24 Jalapeno


Like Squash, Jalapeno is often outclassed by its explosive contemporaries. Unlike its contemporaries however, it's also directly outclassed by Hurrikale, who has a much shorter cooldown, meaning it can disable entire lanes quite easily, while Jalapeno's high cooldown means that one use and you're left hanging for 35 seconds, which can leave you very vulnerable. In most cases, any of the explosives are generally better since they effect a much more relevant area.

#23 Escape Root


Escape Root is essentially a worse version of Primal Potato Mine. Its arm time is longer, and sometimes it may have a much smaller explosion radius, but sometimes it can be about as good as Primal Potato Mine. For all intents and purposes, its swap effect is general unused, but can be used occasionally to get out of bad situations. Overall though, Escape Root, while a unique concept, often fails to be practical in practice and is thus often outclassed.