User blog:VeXJL/Quitting

I'm sorry, but I'm on the edge right now. So much that I'm considering quitting this wiki. I won't do it just yet, but it's still something that's nagging in the back of my mind, and I feel like I should share with you guys about this.

Something about this wiki just made me lose interest of it EXTREMELY FAST. I am not kidding. As you have seen for the past couple of weeks, I've been growing considerably inactive on mainspace and chat, although I'm starting to go on chat right now. HOWEVER, I find that these areas are absurdly boring for some reason. Mainspace just feels much more like a chore rather than me helping out the community, and chat is usually dead. The only good s*** is at the Forums, which for some reason, became boring as f***. Highlighted threads are hardly worth my time, and the Weekly Discussion is Garden Warfare, and is discussed multiple times in the Garden Warfare discussion. To avoid repitition, I stayed quiet in the weekly discussion as I have literally nothing to add. Now, I am extremely exhausted of going to mainspace and chat. My superior mainspace activity from December to January? GONE. My superior chat activity from February to March? GONE. I feel like such a failure because I'm hardly as active as I used to be, and that it will show quite clearly in the staff evaluation system.

I'm also considering quitting so I can focus on my personal life. My education, my friends, my family, my whole life is just revolving around my actions. And what do I do? I ignore them just for being active in this wiki. See, in real life, I also start to feel like a failure. FREAKING EXAMS are coming up and I'm afraid that this wiki will distract me so much that I might get s*** grades. Thing is, I do want to spend time with all of you, but I need to prioritize things in real life and not some random strangers from halfway across the world who I'm never going to get the oppurtunity to meet. I just cannot be active at this wiki while being active in my community as well. Juggling between real life and a community that talks about fictional characters has been quite a hassle lately.

I'm quite flustered about this situation, stressed with all my actions I made to a growinig community here. I just want to have a good life. This community has helped me a great deal (i.e. maturity), but now it's just growing on me that this community may actually in turn do the exact opposite, which is hinder me. We all know that I'm some random schoolboy stuck in a computer screen, stuck like this for almost an entire school year, wasting or reaching potential. I'm now at the point in which I'm regretting all my life decisions at this wiki and outside of this wiki.

Now, I'm leaving something quite serious for you to vote on. YOUR DECISIONS MAY EVEN AFFECT MY CHOICE OF QUITTING ENTIRELY.

What should I f***ing do with my f***ing wasted life? Leave the wiki entirely Stay active at the wiki idk man, this is quite deep. Do your best to stay active, but also make room for your personal life. Leave the wiki temporarily.

For this, I will wait a week. After that, I'll look at the poll.

If Choice 1 wins, I will self-demote myself and leave the wiki, possibly not returning.

If Choice 2 wins, I will be my normal bubbly self, and will strive to be better at this wiki.

If Choice 3 wins, you will most likely see a decrease in my activity in all areas, but I will not entirely leave. However, I'd probably be as "active" as half the discussion mods here *cough cough*, but occasionally coming by every so often.

If Choice 4 wins, I'll self-demote myself. I can ask any b-crat for my rights back, preferably in the summer.

If two or more choices tie, then I'll just use a random number generator to generate my result.

Oh, and please do not blind vote. This is a serious matter. I am 100% fine with any choice because I just can't make important choices. I am leaving it up to you, the community.

Signing off, possibly forever,