User blog comment:Lily8763cp/Random Story - Fiery Sparks/@comment-27385163-20170209001610/@comment-27385163-20170209054209

This looks more like a script, but this is supposed to be telling a story.

this format is one I despise because the writer doesn't use details to give to the reader. It gives you a better look on Electric Boogaloo.

I know you can tell stories with scripts, but you know, we aren't doing some roleplay or movie, so it shouldn't even be in script form.

I feel like the story would have come out really good if it were formatted in paragraphs, not these long lines of dialogue and *motion*, and had more descriptive language. Because with only writing dialogue, and motions.

You know what bothers me is that she listed a lot of details from or about the story on trivia and on here when people asked questions that she could have simply been answered in the story, with descriptive language.