User blog:Plant Protecter/Plant Protecter's PvZ Fanfictions: The Very Unusual Suspects

My 11th fanfiction. Feedback is appreciated and I accept requests.

Note: This fanficton contains characters that are an upcoming part of a PvZ game.

Synopsis
When Dr. Zomboss is hospitalised due a spike from a type of Cactus, Dusk Lobber decides to role play as her "Detective Dusk" character to try and solve the case.

The Very Unusual Suspects

 * [The story starts outside a large mansion. The camera zooms towards an upstairs window. The screen changes to the inside of the room, where a zombie with a large head wearing pajamas is seen sleeping on a large bed. An alarm clock next to the bed starts ringing and the zombie's hand is seen turning the alarm clock off. The zombie then sits up, revealing it to be Dr. Edgar George Zomboss.]

Dr. Zomboss: (stretches and yawns) "I wonder what meetings I have today. I must talk to Cell Phone Zombie, I'm sure he'll know."


 * [Dr. Zomboss hops out of bed and heads towards a closet. He opens it and takes out a white lab coat, black pants and a pair of brown shoes. He walks towards his en-suite. He enters and closes the door.]

Five Minutes Later


 * [Dr. Zomboss exits his en-suite in his regular clothing. He walks out of his bedroom only to be greeted by Cell Phone Zombie.]

Cell Phone Zombie: (smiles) "Morning Dr. Zomboss."


 * [Dr. Zomboss walks past Cell Phone Zombie, who follows him. The scene changes to Dr. Zomboss and Cell Phone Zombie approaching a large rectangular dining table. Both zombies sits down.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "OK, Dr. Zomboss, today you have a 10am appointment with some of the Ancient Egypt zombies, then at 1pm you need to open the new Z-Tech Factory, followed by a speech you need to present to the horde about how to be more efficient at brain eating at 4:30pm. Not to mention the many other duties you have to perform between them."


 * [The door to the kitchen opens, and Dr. Zomboss and Cell Phone Zombie turn towards it. A zombie in a chef uniform with a black mustache walks out with a plate of Pop Smarts and a plate of buttered toast. He hands the Pop Smarts to Dr. Zomboss, and the buttered toast to Cell Phone Zombie.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Why can't I have Pop Smarts once in a while?"

Dr. Zomboss: "Just eat the toast."


 * [Cell Phone Zombie narrows his eyes and stares at Dr. Zomboss while eating a piece of toast. He then looks at his notepad, when a shattering sound is heard. Cell Phone Zombie looks around, confused.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Wow, what do you think that was Dr. Zomboss?"


 * [There is silence.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Dr. Zomboss?"


 * [He turns to Dr. Zomboss and gasps. Dr. Zomboss is seen with a large spike attached to his forehead. He then wobbles for a few seconds before landing face-first into his Pop Smarts.]

Cell Phone Zombie: (shocked) Oh no! Dr. Zomboss! Where's a phone?! I need to call an ambulance!


 * [Cell Phone Zombie jumps out of his chair and runs around trying to find a phone, completely forgetting about his cell phone on the table. He then calmly walks towards the table and picks up his cell phone.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Oooh, right. My cell phone."


 * [He then quickly dials a number and holds his cell phone up to his "ear".]

Cell Phone Zombie: (worried) "Hello? I need an ambulance! Please..."


 * [The scene changes to the outside of the Zomburger, where most of the main characters are talking, eating etc. Glitter Zombie, who's holding a newspaper, skates towards the table. She skids to a stop in front of the table.]

Glitter Zombie: "Guys! Have you heard the news?"

Gold Leaf: "No, what happened?"


 * [Glitter Zombie slams the newspaper onto the table, and Parasol Zombie picks it up and looks at it. The view changes to reveal the front page news is "Dr. Zomboss Hospitalised". Parasol Zombie's eyes widen and she looks at Glitter Zombie.]

Parasol Zombie: (in disbelief) "I-is it true?"

Glitter Zombie: "I'm not one to read newpapers, but it does seem pretty convincing."


 * [The other characters at the table starts talking to one another, except for Ghost Pepper.]

Ghost Pepper: "Why should we care if the "leader of the zombies" is hospitalised?"

Bikini Zombie: "Becuase he's the leader of the zombies! The one who-"

Ghost Pepper: "If you're going to make some big inspirational speech, save it."


 * [Bikini Zombie sighs. Sunflower then looks at the newspaper.]

Sunflower: "It says that the person responsible for the crime has not been found and that the only piece of evidence found is a cactus spike that was lodged into Dr. Zomboss' forehead."

Toadstool: "That must've hurt. It reminds me of the time I got dozens of spike in my tongue."

Sweet Potato: "How'd that happen?"

Toadstool: "I got into an arguement with Cactus."

Ghost Pepper: "Makes sense."

Sunflower: (looks at the newspaper again) "All of the Cacti have been called to Zomboss' mansion for questioning."

Parasol Zombie: "Who's going to question them, the police? We only have two police officers in the entire city and one of them is only a part-time police officer."

Electric Blueberry: "They can't be that bad."

Parasol Zombie: "Everytime I see them, they're eating donuts."

Bikini Zombie: "Well, donuts are delicious."

Parasol Zombie: (annoyed) "You're not helping."

Weasel Hoarder: "This does seem to be quite the mystery."


 * [Dusk Lobber, who wasn't particularly paying attention to the news, perks up when she heard Weasel Hoarder say "mystery".]

Parasol Zombie: "And you said the one word I didn't want to hear."

Weasel Hoarder: "Why?"


 * [Dusk Lobber then hops onto the table wearing her plaid newsboy cap.]

Dusk Lobber: "If there's a mystery...

Parasol Zombie: "No."

Dusk Lobber: "... or a case needing to be solved..."

Parasol Zombie: "Please no."

Dusk Lobber: "...then you can call..."

Parasol Zombie: "Don't."

Dusk Lobber: "...Detective Dusk!"

Parasol Zombie: "Aaand Detective Dusk's here. Great."

Ghost Pepper: "Dusk Lobber-I mean "Detective Dusk", I'm pretty sure you're not a qualified detective."

Detective Dusk: "I have solved many mysteries."

Bikini Zombie: "I have to agree with Ghost Pepper. You've only solved one mystery, and even then the culprit accidentally revealed herself."


 * [The screen flashes white, and it shows the inside of Bikini Zombie's house. Bikini Zombie, along with Dusk Lobber (as Detective Dusk) and Homing Thistle (who's wearing a brown newsboy cap) are outside the kitchen.]

Bikini Zombie: "I need your help. Someone's keeps stealing my chocolate."

Detective Dusk: "Don't worry, me and my associate Professor Thistle will find the culprit."


 * [While they're talking, Glitter Zombie is seen sneaking into the kitchen. She quietly opens the refrigerator door and grabs a chocolate bar. She peels off some of the wrapper and starts eating it. Professor Thistle notices this and nudges Detective Dusk.]

Professor Thistle: "Uh, Detective Dusk?"

Detective Dusk: "What?"


 * [The trio turn towards the kitchen, where Glitter Zombie has finished eating the chocolate bar. She now has chocolate smeared around her mouth. Bikini Zombie looks at Glitter Zombie angrily.]

Bikini Zombie: (angrily) "Glitter Zombie!"


 * [Glitter Zombie turns and looks at the trio, shocked. She quickly skates past the trio, while Bikini Zombie gives chase.]

Bikini Zombie: (angrily) "Come back here!"


 * [Detective Dusk and Professor Thistle watch as Glitter Zombie skates away from her mother, who is trying to catch her. Detective Dusk then turns to Professor Thistle and smiles.]

Detective Dusk: "Our first case solved!"


 * [The screen flashes white again, and it again shows most of the main characters sitting at a table outside the Zomburger. Bikini Zombie is seen looking at Glitter Zombie (who is looking around, ashamed) with narrowed eyes.]

Glitter Zombie: "I'm a chocoholic, OK?! I can't help it!"

Detective Dusk: "Enough dwelling in the past, there is a mystery afoot at Zomboss' mansion!"

Parasol Zombie: "Detective Dusk, this is a REAL mystery. You should leave it to the "professionals".


 * [Detective Dusk then hops up to Parasol Zombie and stares her in the eye.]

Detective Dusk: "You DARE to question my detective skills?"


 * [Detective Dusk continues to stare at Parasol Zombie, who starts to get unnerved.]

Ghost Pepper: "Parasol Zombie looks like she's going to crack any moment now."

Sweet Potato: "Of course. She learnt how to stare like that from her husband. His stare's like he has a laser beam... (leans towards Ghost Pepper) aimed at your SOUL!"

Ghost Pepper: "Sweet Potato, I'M the scary one around here. You're one of the really kind characters with a "heart" of gold."

Sweet Potato: (smiles) "Aw, thanks!"

Ghost Pepper: "Don't mention it. Seriously, don't mention it. I'm being very serious."


 * [During Sweet Potato and Ghost Pepper's chat, Detective Dusk continued to stare at Parasol Zombie, who continued to be unnerved. Just as Parasol Zombie is about to crack, she shakes her head, focuses on Detective Dusk and steels her nerves.]

Parasol Zombie: "Yes. I DO question them."

Detective Dusk: "Well then, why don't you come with me to Zomboss' mansion so you can see me solve the mystery?"

Parasol Zombie: "Fine. I will."


 * [Parasol Zombie and Detective Dusk walk away from the table and off-screen. The scene changes to the inside of Zomboss' mansion, near the front doors. A knock on the door is heard, and Cell Phone Zombie walks toward some the door and opens it, revealing Detective Dusk, Professor Thistle and Parasol Zombie.]

Cell Phone Zombie: (curious) "Who are you and why are you at my boss' door?"

Detective Dusk: "Let me introduce myself: I am Detective Dusk, mystery-solver and writer. These are my companions, Professor Thistle and Parasol Zombie."

Cell Phone Zombie: (in disbelief) "Is she serious?"

Professor Thistle: "Oh, she IS serious."

Cell Phone Zombie: "What are you three doing here, anyway?"

Detective Dusk: "Me and my associates have heard about what happened to Dr. Zomboss this morning and have decided to help solve this mystery."

Cell Phone Zombie: "R-really?!"

Parasol Zombie: "Yes. Really."

Cell Phone Zombie: "Well, come right in!"


 * [The trio walk into the mansion, while Cell Phone Zombie closes the door behind them. He then walks in front of them.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Follow me. I'll introduce you to the rest of the staff."


 * [The trio follow Cell Phone Zombie into a large room with three zombies. Cell Phone Zombie whistles, gaining the attention of the zombies.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "OK zombies, these three are going to help find whoever hospitalised our boss."


 * [A zombie with a brown mustache, a blue uniform and hat wearing a slightly damaged glass dome with headphones on his head is seen in a yellow mop bucket, floating via rockets. He then floats over to the trio and eyes them.]

???: "Do you really think that (points to the two plants with the cleaning end of his mop) these two plants and (points to Parasol Zombie with the same end of his mop) this fancy-pantsy zombie are going to help us find who hurt our boss, Cell Phone Zombie?"

Cell Phone Zombie: "Yes, Celestial Custodian. In fact, the plant wearing the plaid newsboy cap is an actual detective!"


 * [Hearing this, Parasol Zombie scoffs, causing Detective Dusk to angrily look at her. A shattering is heard, followed by an "Not my fault!" in the next room. Celestial Custodian stares at the trio with narrowed eyes and floats into the room where the shattering was heard.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Don't mind him, he doesn't trust new people."


 * [Zombie Commander then walks out of the room Celestial Custodian flew into and notices the trio. She then walks towards them.]

Zombie Commander: "Parasol Zombie? Dusk Lobber? What are you guys doing here?"

Parasol Zombie: "I may ask you the same question."

Zombie Commander: "I work here!"

Detective Dusk: "Who'd be daft enough to hire you?!"

Zombie Commander: (smiles) "Why, Edgar of course!"

Professor Thistle: "Edgar?"

Parasol Zombie: "Dr. Zomboss' first name."

Cell Phone Zombie: "OK, enough talking. How about I show you to the scene of the crime?"

Detective Dusk: "Onwards!"


 * [The scene changes to the dining room, which has "police" tape surrounding where Dr. Zomboss sat. A chalk outline is seen where Dr. Zomboss laid after being injured.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "This is the scene of the crime."

Detective Dusk: "I read in the newspaper that a cactus spike was the weapon. Do you know what happened to it?"


 * [Cell Phone Zombie fumbles with a pocket on his jacket. He then retrieves a red spike from it and shows it to Detective Dusk.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "You mean this spike?"


 * [Detective Dusk studies the spike for a couple of seconds.]

Detective Dusk: "Hmm. Interesting. Parasol Zombie, keep this in a safe place until it's been expertly studied."


 * [Parasol Zombie grabs the spike and places it in her purse. Detective Dusk then sees a small hole in a nearby window. She hops towards it, looks at it for a couple of seconds and turns to the rest of the group.]

Detective Dusk: "I think I found where the spike entered the room."

Cell Phone Zombie: "That explains the shattering noise I heard this morning!"

Detective Dusk: "We've found the where, now we need the who, why and how. I suggest we split up. (hops towards her associates) Parasol Zombie, you go to the Cacti and collect samples of their spikes to study. Me and the Professor here will start interrogating the staff, see if they have any motives?"

Parasol Zombie: "Good idea."

Cell Phone Zombie: "I'll escort Parasol Zombie to where the Cacti are."

Detective Dusk: "And be quick; I intent to interrogate YOU first."


 * [Cell Phone Zombie looks at Detective Dusk, shocked. The scene changes to a room with multiple Cacti and targets. Cell Phone Zombie and Parasol Zombie walk into the room, and the Cacti turn towards them.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "OK plants, Parasol Zombie here is going to talk for you for a few minutes. I'll be leaving now."


 * [Cell Phone Zombie walks out of the room, while Parasol Zombie walks towards the targets.]

Parasol Zombie: "OK. I need samples of your spikes, so I need you to shoot the targets."

Cactus: "OK."

Parasol Zombie: "OK. Fire!"


 * [A spike is then shot into Parasol Zombie's hair. She looks angrily at the Cacti.]

Parasol Zombie: (angrily) "I said fire at the targets!"

Cactus: "Exactly! YOU'RE a target!"


 * [Parasol Zombie then has a worried expression on her face.]

Parasol Zombie: (worried) "Oh dear..."


 * [A fiery spike is then shot into Parasol Zombie's hair, causing it to catch ablaze. Parasol Zombie then screams and runs around, trying to put it out. Cactus and Fire Cactus then "high-five" each other. The scene then changes to another room, where Detectives Dusk and Professor Thistle sit on chairs while Cell Phone Zombie sits on a chair in front of them.]

Detective Dusk: "OK, we are just going to ask a couple of questions. First of all, what is your relationship with Dr. Zomboss?"

Cell Phone Zombie: "Well, being his assistant/receptionist, I usually spent most of my time with him, reminding him of important times, dates and whatnot. I'd even go so far as to say we're friends, even when I saw him-"


 * [Cell Phone Zombie suddenly covers his mouth, causing Detective Dusk to stare at him.]

Detective Dusk: "Something the matter?"

Cell Phone Zombie: (nervously) "N-no. I mean yes! No, wait!"

Detective Dusk: "Cell Phone Zombie, I don't believe you're being completely honest with us."


 * [Cell Phone Zombie nervously looks at the two plants, who stare at him. After a couple of moments, Cell Phone Zombie's nerves crack.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "OK fine! I'll tell you."


 * [The screen flashes white, and it shows Cell Phone Zombie walking past an ajar door. He hears singing, and walks backwards towards the door. Curious, he moves closer to the door trying to get hear the singing better, when he accidentally leans against the door, causing him to fall into the room.]

Cell Phone Zombie: "Darn it!"


 * [He looks up to see Dr. Zomboss standing in front of a mirror with his eyes closed. He is wearing his Pop outfit, holding a microphone and has finished singing.]

Dr. Zomboss: (in a girly voice) "Thank you Neon Mixtape Tour! Good night!"


 * [He opens his eyes and to his horror, Cell Phone Zombie is behind him. He turns around to face him and screams while throwing the microphone (which lands around a quarter of the distance between the two zombies). The two then awkwardly look around, blushing, before Dr. Zomboss stomps towards Cell Phone Zombie.]

Dr. Zomboss: (in a girly voice) "If you..." (clears throat; in his normal voice) "If you tell ANYBODY, you will suffer!"


 * [Dr. Zomboss then pushes Cell Phone Zombie out of his room and slams the door. Cell Phone Zombie, still a bit shocked from what just happened, walks down the hallway with wide eyes. The screen flashes again, and shows Cell Phone Zombie, Detective Dusk and Professor Thistle, with the latter two staring at each other in disbelief. They then turn to Cell Phone Zombie.]

Detective Dusk: "We don't believe you."

Cell Phone Zombie: "Thank goodness! If other people were to find out, he'd get a Gargantuar to rip me limb from limb! He's not strong enough to do it himself. He even erased our encounter from the security system's records."

Detective Dusk: "There's a security system?"

Cell Phone Zombie: "Yes. But don't bother checking it; I tried earlier, but the entire system was fried due to a giant electrical shock."

Detective Dusk: "Interesting."


 * [The scene changes to the same room, but with Zombie Commander in place of Cell Phone Zombie.]

Detective Dusk: "OK, we're just going to ask a few-"

Zombie Commander: "I swear, Fishy Imp tricked me into buying my own wallet. I didn't steal it!"

Detective Dusk: "No, we're going to ask questions about what happened today."

Zombie Commander: "Oooh."

Detective Dusk: "First question: what I did your relationship with Dr. Zomboss?"


 * [Zombie Commander then looks at the two plants, shocked.]

Zombie Commander: (shocked) "R-relationship?!"

Detective Dusk: "Now, do you want me to explain what a-"

Zombie Commander: "No, I-I know what one is."


 * [Zombie Commander then starts blushing while looking around nervously.]

Zombie Commander: (nervously) "OK. M-me and Edgar. W-we were..."

Detective Dusk: "Go on."

Zombie Commander: "We were in a relationship. A-a romantic one, too..."


 * [Detective Dusk and Professor Thistle look at Zombie Commander (who is looking around, embarrassed) in shock.]

Professor Thistle: "Wait, so you were in a relationship with THE Dr. Zomboss?"

Zombie Commander: "Well, I don't want to brag..."

Detective Dusk: "What caused the relationship to end?"

Zombie Commander: "Apparently, if you put a toaster into a microwave and turn them on at same time, they explode and Edgar gets angry at you."

Professor Thistle: "You doing that caused the relationship to stop?"

Zombie Commander: "Oh, I did much more than that, most accidentally breaking things. But the microwave/toaster incident is what did it. Especially since Edgar wanted to eat some Pop Smarts. But I admit, I still have feelings for him..."

Detective Dusk: "Next question: do you know anyone who'd have a grudge against Dr. Zomboss?"

Zombie Commander: "Well, I've heard rumours that he has a bounty on his head, but I would never turn him in. But I actually do know who did this to him."


 * [Detective Dusk's eyes widen and she moves closer to Zombie Commander.]

Detecive Dusk: "Really? Who?"

Zombie Commander: "It's... the butler."

Professor Thistle: (confused) "Wait, what?"

Zombie Commander: "I said, it's the butler who did it."

Detective Dusk: "Zombie Commander, Dr. Zomboss doesn't have a butler. His staff consist of an assistant/receptionist, chef, janitor, landscaper and... wait, what's YOUR job?"

Zombie Commander: "Well, after we broke up, Edgar said I could take care of his collection of famous toenail clippings, his complete 432-DVD collection of Brains of Out Lives, the romantic zombie soap opera and his two pets."

Professor Thistle: "He has pets?"

Zombie Commander: "Yes. I'll go fetch them."


 * [Zombie Commander leaves the room. She returns a few moments later holding a small hedgehog with black spines in one hand and a fishbowl in the other.]

Zombie Commander: "Allow me to present Mr. Stubbins..." (she holds up Mr. Stubbins) "... and Ziggy!" (holds up Ziggy)

Detective Dusk: "Zombie Commander, Ziggy's a FISH BOWL!"

Zombie Commander: "Well, Edgar used to own gold fish, but they kept running away. After a while, he just gave up having gold fish as pets and made the fish bowl a pet. He says "it's simpler". Ziggy actually had half-a-dozen zombie eating piranhas in him once, due to Edgar's worst enemies. Vicious things, those piranhas. Except for Lou, he had stomach problems."

Detective Dusk: "OK, enough of Ziggy. As I said, Zomboss doesn't have a butler."


 * [Zombie Commander has a blank look on her face for a few brief moments, before looking angrily at Detective Dusk.]

Zombie Commander: (angrily) "Maybe YOU'RE the butler, in disguise!"


 * [She picks up Detective Dusk and starts violently shaking her.]

Zombie Commander: (enraged) "How DARE you hurt Edgar!"

Detective Dusk: "Thistle, help!"


 * [Professor Thistle shoots a spike at Zombie Commander's hand, causing her to let go of Detective Dusk. The two plants then quickly hop out of the room and close the door. Banging is then heard on the other side of the door.]

Detective Dusk: "Don't worry, Professor. We're save. She thinks all door are "push to open", while this one need to be pulled to open. I wonder how Parasol Zombie is going with collecting those samples."


 * [The scene changes to the room with Parasol Zombie and the Cacti. Parasol Zombie, who has burnt hair and a tattered dress, is hiding behind one of the targets, which is getting continually shot at by the Cacti.]

Parasol Zombie: "I swear, I'm going to make Dusk Lobber PAY for making me do this!"


 * [The scene changes to the kitchen, where the two plants at facing the zombie chef from before, who is cutting a wheel of cheese with a cheese cutter.]

Detective Dusk: "OK, we're just going to ask you a few questions, Mr..."

???: "My name is Cheese Cutter."


 * [A farting sound is then heard. The two plants then look at Cheese Cutter, who looks around nervously.]

Detective Dusk: "In more ways than one, I presume?"

Cheese Cutter: "It's a condition!"

Detective Dusk: "I see. Well, let's start will the questions. First question: what is your relationship with Dr. Zomboss?"

Cheese Cutter: Well, I am Docteur (Doctor) Zomboss' chef. I cook for him and the staff that work at this manior (mansion). My speciality is cooking any thing cheese-related. Fondue savoyarde, raclette, tartiflette."

Professor Thistle: "All French dishes?"

Cheese Cutter: "Oui (yes). It's not my fault that my country is home to such wonderful dishes. I've always liked cheeese. It's why I became a chef in the first place."

Detective Dusk: "One of my friends is allergic to cheese."

Cheese Cutter: "She is a very malheureux (unfortunate) person."

Detective Dusk: "Anyway, since you're the chef and you most likely served Dr. Zomboss breakfast, did you see any one or anything suspicious?"

Cheese Cutter: "Oui (yes). I heard a sound similar to someone being beamed from one place to another, similar to Space Cadet. After that, I just served Zomboss his Pop Smarts, his assistant butter toast and then returned to the kitchen."

Detective Dusk: "What colour are these Pop Smarts?"

Cheese Cutter: "Oh, these particular type are Rose (pink) in colour, due to them being strawberry-flavoured."

Detective Dusk: "Just like the crumbs in your mustache?"


 * [Cheese Cutter then starts to nervously look around.]

Cheese Cutter: (nervously) "W-what mustache?"

Detective Dusk: "Cheese Cutter, we aren't Zombie Commander. We won't be fooled by that."

Cheese Cutter: OK fine. I've been secretly eating some of Docteur (Doctor) Zomboss' Pop Smarts, and I've been blaming Monsieur (Mister) Stubbins! But it's not just me. All the staf have at one point stolen some Pop Smarts."

Professor Thistle: "But why?"

Cheese Cutter: "Because Docteur (Doctor) Zomboss never lets us eat them. He always hogs them. Please don't tell him. We need these emplois (jobs)."

Detective Dusk: "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with us."


 * [The scene cuts to a hallway in the mansion, where Celestial Custodian is cleaning up a bunch of crumbs. The two plants appraoch him.]

Detective Dusk: "Greeting, Space Janitor."


 * [Celestial Custodian then turns and looks angrily at Detective Dusk.]

Celestial Custodian: (angrily) "I ain't some "Space Janitor". I'm a "Celestial Custodian" and I'm darn proud to be one, missy."

Detective Dusk: "Oh sorry, "Celestial Custodian"."

Celestial Custodian: "I expected such rudeness from plants. I've seen the rubbish you leave after some of your "Heroes" battle, which is ironic, when you think about it."

Detective Dusk: "What kind of rubbish?"

Celestial Custodian: "Coffee grounds, small grottos of mushrooms, intergalactic bogs that resemble the one in the fifth Moon Warz movie!"

Professor Thistle: "Go on."

Celestial Custodian: "Not to mention that broken slingshot I found after the incident."

Detective Dusk: "What slingshot?"


 * [Celestial Custodian puts his hand in his shirt pocket and retrieves a slingshot, with a broken rubber strip. He then gives it to Detective Dusk, who studies it.]

Detective Dusk: "Interesting. We should take this to Parasol Zombie for analysis."


 * [The scene cuts to the outside of Zomboss' mansion, where a zombie with a black mustache wearing a brown uniform and hat (which has leaves and headphones on it) wielding a leaf blower can be see talking to the two plants.]

Detective Dusk: "So, Landscaper, have you seen anything mysterious around here?"

Landscaper: "Not really. Although I did see a glint of something shiny in a bush near the mansion. If I remember correctly, it was right near the window of the dining room."

Detective Dusk: "Hmm. This mystery seems to be coming together. We should speak to Parasol Zombie, Professor Thistle. Onwards!"


 * [The scene changes to Detective Dusk and Professor Thistle hopping into the room where Parasol Zombie and the Cacti are.]

Detective Dusk: "Parasol Zombie, we're back. Did you you collect the samples?"

Parasol Zombie: (off-screen) "You could say that."


 * [Parasol Zombie is seen attached to the wall via many spikes in her dress and hair. The Cacti are ignoring the trio and are chatting amongst themselves.]

Parasol Zombie: "Dusk Lobber, get me down. NOW."


 * [Detective Dusk helps Parasol Zombie down.]

Detective Dusk: "Good news, Parasol Zombie. We have found more clues during our investigation, like this slingshot." (reveals the slingshot)

Parasol Zombie: "And I've collected many, many, many samples. Too many samples."

Detective Dusk: "Good. You study the samples and slingshot, and then we'll meet up again in the main lobby."


 * [The scene cuts to Parasol Zombie, who is looking at a spike through a microscope. She then replaces the spike with the slingshot.]

Parasol Zombie: "Hmm. I don't recognise the plant DNA on the slingshot, compared to the plant DNA on the spikes. Wait, I forgot the main spike!"


 * [She takes out the spike from her purse and studies it.]

Parasol Zombie: "Wait a minute. This spike has the DNA of Cactus and the same unidentifiable plant DNA as before. I need to report this to Detective Dusk."


 * [Parasol Zombie exits the room. She approaches Detective Dusk reports what she found. Detective Dusk then smiles.]

Detective Dusk: (smiling) "Parasol Zombie, I think we've just solved this case. Gather everyone in the main hall! I will reveal the culprit!"


 * [The scene changes to the main hall, where the Cacti and the mansion's staff are lined up, side-by-side. Detective Dusk, Professor Thistle and Parasol Zombie Stand in front of the suspects. Detective Dusk then hops forward.]

Detective Dusk: "I bet you're all wondering why you've been called here."

Zombie Commander: "Lunch?"

Detective Dusk: "No. me and my associates have discovered who injured Dr. Zomboss."


 * [The Suspects starts chattering amongst themselves for a moment.]

Detective Dusk: "Let me explain. We started our efforts to find the culprit in the dining room, where we were given the weapon. BUT I found a hole in the window. The very same hole where the spike was shot through the window!"

Fire Cactus: "Is that all?"

Detective Dusk: "Not at all. After that, me and Professor Thistle interrogated the staff. Each of them gave us a small piece of clue. But what really help, was the DNA sample."

Bandit Cactus: "Care to explain?"

Detective Dusk: "I will. Now, that spike was just that: a spike. From none other than Cactus herself!"


 * [The Suspects gasp, as they turn towards Cactus.]

Cactus: "But I didn't do it!"

Detective Dusk: "She's right. The REAL culprit framed Cactus."

Future Cactus: "Oh really? And who is the real culprit?"

Detective Dusk: "I'm talking to her right now."


 * [The suspect turn to Future Cactus, who has her arms folded.]

Future Cactus: "Oh yeah? And how'd I injured Dr. Zomboss?"

Detective Dusk: "Let me explain."


 * [The screen flashes white, and it shows the outside Zomboss' mansion. Future Cactus then phases into view.]

Detective Dusk: (voiceover) "From some unknown location, you teleported into Zomboss' "garden". The teleportation caused a loud noise to occur. The same one Cheese Cutter heard."


 * [Future Cactus then jumps into a bush. She holds up E.M.Peach and looks at an open window, where a glow of computer screen starts can be seen. Future Cactus throws E.M.Peach at the window.]

E.M.Peach: (scared) "This isn't in my job description!"


 * [He lands in the room. He then explodes, causing a large dome of blue electricity to reach the computers, causing them to short out.]

Detective Dusk: (voiceover) "You then disabled the security system using E.M.Peach, which would prevent someone from finding who committed by the crime. Cell Phone Zombie later rounds out the destroyed security system."


 * [Future Cactus then sneaks closer to the dining room window. Landscaper, who is blowing away a few leaves, sees a glint in the bush. He then decides to ignore it.]

Detective Dusk: (voiceover) "You then sneaked closer to the mansion in a bush, the same bush where Landscaper saw a glint of something metal. Like your arm."


 * [Future Cactus then takes out a slingshot, and puts the spike on the slingshot's pocket. She pulls the slingshot's pocket back too far, breaking it. She then throws it on the ground in frustration. She then picks up the spike and throws it extremely fast through the window, creating a small hole in it. She then smiles and teleports away, as Cell Phone Zombie is heard panicking.]

Detective Dusk: "You then tried to use a slingshot to try and limit the amount of times you've touched the spike, which you stole from Cactus. The slingshot broke, and you resorted to throwing it like a darts player, creating a hole in the window and injuring Dr. Zomboss. However, you left the slingshot behind. The same one Celestial Custodian found."


 * [The screen then flashes, and it shows Detective Dusk smugly looking at Future Cactus, who is unchanged.]

Future Cactus: "And if I DID do all that, why would I do it?"

Detective Dusk: "We can thank Zombie Commander for that. She said that Dr. Zomboss has a bounty on his head. And aren't you, Future Cactus, a BOUNTY HUNTER?!"


 * [The Suspects gasp, while Future Cactus looks unnerved.]

Detective Dusk: "You wanted to kill Dr. Zomboss and claim the bounty all for yourself. Case closed."


 * [Future Cactus suddenly bolt outside the room.]

Parasol Zombie: "After her!"


 * [The rest of the characters give chase. The scene changes to the outside of Zomboss' mansion, where Future Cactus is rapidly tapping her "wrist". A hologram of a zombie with red hair wearing a whiteboard headband appears. She has black, white and yellow armour, and has a yellow neckerchief. She also has a pink futuristic target in front of her right eye. She sees Future Cactus and smiles.]

???: (smiling) "Well well well. What's Future Cactus gotten herself into now?"

Future Cactus: "Shut up Bounty Hunter. I need to be teleported back to base. I was caught."

Bounty Hunter: (smiling) "Now, why would I do that?"

Future Cactus: (angrily) "Bounty Hunter, I swear to gourd, if you don't get me out of here I'll put a bounty on YOUR HEAD!"

Bounty Hunter: "Yeesh, so feisty. Fine, await for teleportation."


 * [Future Cactus is then teleported away from the mansion. The rest of the characters arrive.]

Zombie Commander: "Where'd she go?"

Detective Dusk: "I don't know. But I doubt she'll be returning anytime soon."

The Next Morning


 * [The main characters are sitting outside a table. Glitter Zombie skates up to the table, newspaper in hand. She places it on the table and Parasol Zombie picks it up, looks at it and smiles. The view changes to reveal the front page news says "Dr. Zomboss Mystery Solved!".]

Parasol Zombie: "I underestimated you, Dusk Lobber. You really DO have detective skills."

Dusk Lobber: "Of course I do. You think that was the second case I solved? I've solved many other cases. But those are for another story."

THE END

Timeline

 * After the events of Bully For You.

Trivia

 * Its title is a reference to the 1995 neo-noir mystery film The Usual Suspects.
 * I originally wanted to include all the plants that have spikes as suspects, but then I decided to narrow it down to only the Cacti.
 * The "intergalactic bog" that Celestial Custodian mentions resembling the one in the "fifth Moon Warz movie" is a reference to the Dagobah system from the Star Wars movie The Empire Strike Back.