User blog comment:ShroomstagramUser/Disappointment/@comment-27138615-20180101131700

2017 just felt like a really... bitter year for the wiki. I remember back then, even when I was under aged, more encouragement and more energy. Now whenever I look back, I see frequent time gaps and the place just feels overall more... lifeless. How many people want to run for staff? How many people even want to make a change? Even if the changes don't always work, it does show that people somewhat care... or want to make the wiki "cooler," but that's a different story.

While I may seem like one of those people who flocked to leave an "overdramatic, depressing" place, I still watch over the wiki pretty much every day. It's creepy, I know, but it's a habit I really can't shake off. However, I never had that pinch of energy that lets me do anything anymore, even if I can sense that something is wrong. I can't say that I will leave, especially since this wiki is still like a dang magnet, but a lot of my activity will be drastically reduced, but more on this some other day.

And when something does happen it does feel like there's so much sour and bitter emotion. I remember the days when I felt like the community, was a community. But I think almost, if not everyone had a part when it came to this mess. It's to be expected, but the stakes sure are higher this year. But what happens in the end of all this? Mostly blaming. Although I'm glad to see that compromises are coming like with the Roleplaying stuff... It doesn't hide the fact that there was a clear overreaction in many sides.

Overreaction is something I can really associate with this year as well. It was more hurt than help, and when help does try to come... more often than not, the overreaction kind of gets a bit worse. I'll leave it short there to avoid reigniting a dead horse.

I also do think it's fair to say that disappointment is a rather fitting word for this regard. I can really put it to use when it comes to describing this year, and of course I'm not free from using it on myself. I feel like I overall really, really neglected my duties as an administrator. I never did much and all I can say is that... I was there, but most of the things I did were minor. Except maybe those staff evaluations thing, but that thing got snatched back faster than the New Coke.

Not to mention the Discord problems that happened when I had even less control of my own immature emotions, which I still really regret to this day. I'm sorry to everyone who was there ever since it started, and I especially for those who I grew close with. Now that I think about it more, I feel like I hurt so many of you, even if I didn't mean to. But then again, we can't have Mila's Turnwheel in real life, can we? I still feel like what I did back then still linger to this day, serving as a grim reminder.

Even if some people don't realize it, it does go that way for a lot of us. Our legacies can either help or hurt the wiki, and will be remembered in days to come, no matter how cheesy that sounds in something like a website about weird-looking peashooters destroying zombies. From the users back in the "good ol' days," up until now, it can really change how a person looks at this place or even life, because after all, we still are real people, not degenerates or something similar. But I can see that a turnabout after what all happened this year will most likely happen.

It did get better towards the end of the year, I can see that people are trying to help the roleplayers and the tides have seem to been lowered. There's also signs that people are trying to be rebuild this place in some way. It'd be hard to say, however, if it'll work out or not, considering the current state of this place. According from what I heard, the Discord server is getting better as time went on, and I'm really glad to hear that, and I mean it. It's such a shame that its past had to be so rocky, but it shows that hope is still there.

Many people might say that this place is hopeless, and heck, our wiki's legacy can even be considered as a joke to some because of how bad some things went, but one thing is for sure, I don't think the wiki should lose hope still. This year, while less active than the others, has potential to be a good one. Things have mellowed down and there are obvious attempts for improvement. But once again, I don't think it can be achieved without unity and acceptance. This wiki isn't exactly one to have a track record for that, but it can have one if everyone tries.