User blog:GamerNerd i/It's About (Messing Up) Time: Act VI

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Transcript
Aidan, Nadia, and Rotom are talking to the future plants. The conversation is... Interesting.

"So the toilet thing actually happened?" Aidan asks.

"As much as I hate to admit it, yes," Laser Bean replies. "It was disgusting."

Nadia looks at both in confusion. "What toilet thing?" "Suffice it to say," Citron says, "that certain people got into the s-"

Alarms start blaring suddenly. Starfruit yells into another room. "Turnip! What's going on?"

"Zombies on the lawn again! A lot of them! More than usual!" Tile Turnip yells back. [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/you-must-construct-additional-pylons "Also, I apparently need to construct additional pylons." ]

"Everyone out!" Starfruit yells. "Blover, give us a tailwind and keep those jetpacks away! Turnip, get off that game and get some tiles out for us!" He turns to Citron. "Can you contact your brother?"

"He's in another time. Again," Citron responds. "Not like I want to. Dude won't stop rubbing stuff in my face. I don't need more of that."

"Fair enough, I don't like him either." Laser Bean says. "This will be a tough one without backup. Move!" The plants start going toward the stairs.

"Thezzze guys can fight!" Rotom says, "gesturing" to Nadia and Aidan. "They're zzzuper good at it too!"

"They don't have weapons though," Blover says quietly as the other plants ascend. "I thought humans can't fight without weapons."

"Who said we needed weapons?" Nadia says. "I don’t need any weapons. I’ll show you guys!" She excitedly runs to catch up with the others.

Aidan shrugs. “I guess that’s the point this time,” he says. I wanted to try out something, but whatever.” He calmly walks up the stairs alongside Blover, with Rotom following behind.

Sure enough, there are a lot of Zombies lined up against the lawn. Shields, Cones, Disco-trons, the usual mechs. There’s a slightly alarming number of Mecha-Footballs and Gargantuar Primes in particular. They’re backed up by the typical normal Zombies and Jetpacks/Blastronauts. Why they haven’t attacked already, I’ll never know.

Rotom manages to pick up two of them talking. “God, man. Can’t we get a break?” A Shield Zombie whispers. “We just got off another frickin’ island and now we gotta do this?”

“Just stay to the back like usual,” a Mecha Football answers indifferently. “The ZFL games are happening right now so I’ll just be on auto-pilot. Back me up so I don’t get disturbed, will you?”

“Fine, I got downgraded back to these stupid shields anyway,” Shield mutters. “Why can’t Zomboss just let me do my own thing with his tech? It’s not like I’m breaking it or whatever.”

Enemy banter aside, the plants are readying the lawn. Tile Turnip is at a control panel, flipping switches. Power tiles appear and disappear as he shifts the settings. He seems to go through a lot of different formations before settling on one.

Nadia stares at the opposing horde, confused. Tile Turnip drills himself into the lawn as she turns to Aidan.

“Why do they just wait?” She asks. “We were totally unprepared. They could’ve easily got these guys.”

Aidan shrugs. “Don’t ask me. I guess they wait for a command or something?” He whispers, “They’re like this in-game too. You could have them wait for hours and they won’t go till you’re ready. Speaking of which,” he interrupts himself, pointing to the first wave shuffling onto the lawn, “here come the first ones.”

A few basic Zombies shuffle onto the lawn. They’re dispatched easily by the plants, but then the mechs start coming in. Even a single Cone gets a good way into the lawn before it’s eliminated.

“I guess we should help now,” Nadia says as an E.M.Peach explodes to stop the onslaught briefly. “We’ve been staring for the last five minutes.”

“Yep,” Aidan agrees. “So, what’s this weaponless person you’ve been wanting to try?” The various mechs on the field start floating, converting into a giant pile in the middle of the lawn, held in place by an unseeable force. “Okay, if you’re doing what I think you’re doing, then that’s just OP.”

“Turns out that these machines are still mostly ferromagnetic,” Nadia says. Her arms are outstretched and her fingers tensed. “Magneto would have a field day, but I’ll have it for him.” As she moves her arms, the mechs do a variety of things, much to the panic of their operators. Metal clangs against metal as the Cone mechs start attacking the incoming Zombies.

Starfruit glances skeptically at Nadia, but takes full advantage of the diversion.

“Line them up on one lane, would you?” He says, moving into the center of the lawn. Nadia obeys. “Turnip, give me lane 3, tiles 1, 2, and 6. Citron and Laser Bean, you know what to do.”

Tile Turnip flips up the spaces as Citron, Laser Bean, and Starfruit move onto them. Citron ingests a green orb. Thunder strikes him and he fires a ball of pure blue electricity. Laser Bean reacts next, jumping into the air and firing a massive laser down the whole lane from his mouth. (It’s a little terrifying since the only thing you see is a blinding line of light emitting from a black silhouette.) Finally, Starfruit starts spinning rapidly, nothing more than a yellow blur. His five-directional stars appear much larger now, and from his central location on the lawn, every single one hits something. Citron’s electro ball travels to the end of the lane, slower than the other projectiles, and takes out a Prime on its own.

Nadia relaxes as the mechanical Zombies are reduced to nothing but pieces. “I thought I was going to do more, but okay,” she says. “That was an impressive show of force.” Shadows fall all over the lawn. Aidan’s eyes widen as he looks up.

“Blover! He yells. “Give us a gust now!”

“I... What? Why?” Blover asks. She raises her eyes to the sky before saying, “Oh. That’s why.” Her fanlike petals spin rapidly as yellow balls fall from the sky. They’re all blown away in the gist of air. The Bug Bots didn’t stand a chance.

Now a lone imp walks into the middle of the lawn and stops. His clothes are orange and he wears an oddly-shaped hat. Nadia and Rotom snicker. Aidan raises an eyebrow but makes no sign of action.

“Well,” He starts in a squeaky voice. “Zomboss was right. You two did show up.” He scowls at the two Recreators. Honestly, it’s hard to take him seriously with his height. “Unfortunately, we need to tear down this house for a few reasons. Mainly because we’ve tracked anti-Zombie propaganda coming from here.”

“Oi!” Keem yells from a window. “My videos are quality content, not propaganda!”

The Imp gives Keem a weird look before pulling out a 19-something cell phone. (You’d think that in the future Zomboss would at least be able to give them a smartphone or something.) “Anyway, the boss is calling.” He smirks as he flips open a panel on the phone, revealing a large button. “In fact, the Doctor will see you now.” He presses the button and cackles in his tiny voice.

A set of metallic legs drops out of the sky behind the Imp. And that’s it for a good thirty seconds. Everyone’s confused. I think it’s safe to say that everyone was expecting another giant robot.

“Uh...” The Imp looks at his modified cellphone. “Maybe if I...” He presses the button again and the legs start moving. “There we go!” He says, a wormhole opening above him. Zomboss flies an alien thing with a signature massive yellow eyeball and connects to the metal legs. The Imp is seemingly crushed by a giant robot with a wind-up key. Soon both stand ready: the Imp within his Z-Mech and Zomboss in his giant robot. “Let’s see who’s laughing now!” Imp laughs.

Aidan shakes his head in disappointment. “Too predictable. Oh well, what was I expecting?” He turns to Nadia. “Which one do you want?”

Nadia shrugs. “I guess I can take the spider again,” she responds, referring to Zomboss, who is already spawning Zombies to supplement the original horde. “You can take Gizmo.” Aidan nods in recognition. The two split up, Aidan yelling insults at Z-Mech and Nadia trying to get Zomboss’s attention.

The Imp in the Z-Mech laughs at his challenger. “You’re a weak little human and I’m in a robot! Are you that stupid?”

“You should know as well as I do that size doesn’t matter,” Aidan says, smirking. He ties a red band around his head, then beckons mockingly to Z-Mech. “But talk is cheap, so let’s see what you’ve got.”

Z-Mech rushes toward Aidan, guns blazing. Aidan responds by taking a deep breath and blowing out a massive fireball that effectively shields him from the lasers. While slow, the fireball catches Z-Mech off guard and he stumbles. Aidan takes advantage of the opening, rushing toward the robot.

"Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!" Aidan yells, sticking one foot out and jumping into a spinning kick that somehow keeps him in midair for a good three seconds, striking Z-Mech several times and knocking him back.

Meanwhile, Nadia and the plants are assaulting the Zombot Tomorrow-Tron. She laughs gleefully, shifting in and out of vision and running circles around Zomboss. The Zombot will often recoil as if struck while Nadia is out of sight, and it looks like it just toppled for no reason. Other times, Zomboss will swat at something inside his cabin, causing the whole robot to go haywire for the duration. All in all, Nadia was having a great time at the loss of Zomboss’s fighting skills and dignity.

“Stop doing that!” He screeches. “Stay still so I can crush you! This isn’t fair!”

Nadia stops moving just long enough to tell him, “Well, you know that you’ll be fighting us, so why don’t you make faster robots instead of wasting your breath asking me to do something I won’t do?” She vanishes again just as Zomboss starts pegging the area she stood in, much to his chagrin.

Laser Bean proves himself to be very effective at both managing the endless Zombie horde and keeping the pressure on Zomboss. At least one head rolls each time he fires, in addition to a new hole appearing in the Tomorrow-Tron's armor.

Tile Turnip looks like he's having a blast at the Power Tile control panel. Somehow having headphones and acting like he's deejaying helps him to ensure that there's always a tile under his allies, who are moving around a lot. Considering how much Plant Food is flying around (It's actually a decent amount.), powering up everyone with one fell swoop is pretty overpowered.

Speaking of powering up, Starfruit is doing more than his fair share. Thanks to Turnip’s deejaying, Starfruit manages to maintain a steady stream of large stars in the center of the horde. He’s spinning nonstop. I feel kinda bad. That must be dizzying.

Citron, while slow, is the secondary Zomboss bruiser (Nadia being the first). He’s a kind of sniper, somehow landing each plasma ball on Zomboss. Occasionally he’ll be struck by lightning and clear a lane before taking out a Mech at the end.

Blover’s no slop either. Her periodic spins don’t appear to do much, but she’s the only one keeping airborne threats away. Although the land-bound Zombies aren’t swept away by her gusts, they clearly have a hard time staying stable.

On the other side of the lawn, Z-Mech gets up from Aidan’s spinning kicks. "Gah!" Z-Mech exclaims as he recovers, "Take this! Rockets away!" His little shoulder pads flip up and fire a barrage of missiles at Aidan as Z-Mech advances slowly.

Aidan hunches into a ball on the floor. Every hair on his head stands straight up as if statically charged. I guess he was indeed statically charged, since every missile that comes too close to him is zapped out of the air by yellow lightning emitting straight from his body. Heck, even a nearby Blastronaut gets zapped.

"Okay, really?" Z-Mech says in disbelief. "How am I supposed to fight you if you keep doing all that?"

Aidan gets up and smooths his hair, shrugging. "In other situations, you probably just don't, but I don't think that's an option while your boss is right there." He cups his hands behind and beside him, forming a small energy ball between them that swirls with power. In a moment, he releases the ball in Z-Mech's direction, yelling, "Hadouken!"

Z-Mech reacts quickly, raising a rock wall in defense as the ball draws near. Aidan lifts an eyebrow in intrigue.

"So you can do that already, huh?" He muses. "Well then, let's see how well you use your brute strength!" Aidan rushes toward Z-Mech to engage him at close quarters. Soon the two are locked in a storm of blows, stray missiles, and stomps.

Unfortunately for Zomboss, his robot is not quite as proficient in melee fighting, especially against a combatant who isn't an immobile Plant. Nadia seems to be taking the same attack pattern as she was before, although with greater accompanying gleeful laughter.

"Maybe I should stop toying with you now," she says casually, appearing on top of the Zombot's cockpit. Considering how much the Zombot is buckling and overall malfunctioning, it's impressive how stable she seems.

"TOYING????" Zomboss yells frantically, clearly surprised by Nadia's sudden shadow above him. "How could you possibly be just playing this whole time?"

"Meh," she says, lazily sliding down the cracked windshield to come face to face with Zomboss, "You're neither the toughest nor the smartest evil genius I know. I think you’re even low on the spectrum.”

“Me? Low on the spectrum?” Zomboss says incredulously. “Who could possibly best my genius?” He really wants to know, but at the same time he’s trying to get away. The Zombot is already starting to glow temporal blue. Nadia doesn’t seem to notice.

“Hank Pym, for example,” she says, jumping off the windshield, “who created these Pym Particles I’ve been using against you this whole time.” She’s taller than the Zombot before she even lands. “Shrinking size, increasing density... And the other way around too.” Her size becomes so massive that she can step on a Prime with ease. “Decreased muscle density is a problem, but size still matters.” The Zombot scurries around like a bug as Nadia the giantess tries to stomp him. Something tells me this is still just toying with Zomboss.

Going back to Aidan, he has a clear advantage. Z-Mech is putting up more of a fight than Zomboss, but it’s not quite enough. The Imp within is clearly getting fatigued from operating his Mech.

“This feels like fighting Wall-Knight,” he says, panting. His blows have become slower and weaker. “And this thing is also running out of Battery Power.”

“I can understand that,” Aidan says sympathetically. He too has eased up on his fighting, but I doubt that it’s out of fatigue. “The fights are far longer than they should be for both sides. Tell you what,” he starts, backing away, “I’ll stop this right now. In what direction is your base?”

“Uh... Somewhere behind me?” Imp says. “I’m not supposed to show you.”

“You won’t have to, but this might hurt,” Aidan says, stepping closer. “Brace yourself.” The Imp tilts his head. “Whadaya mean, ‘This mi- Ack!” Aidan interrupts him by starting an attack. “SHIN!” Aidan yells, striking Z-Mech just below the cockpit with his left hand. The force is so great that it leaves a dent. “SHO-“ A right-handed punch lands on the glass above Imp’s head, cracking it. “-RYUKEN!” A final left-handed uppercut sends the entire Z-Mech flying.

“Waaaaaaa!” Imp can be heard screaming as he soars over the house and somewhere far behind it.

“Ow,” Aidan says, shaking his hand. “So that’s what it feels like to punch a car.” He turns around to see Zomboss warp away just as Nadia actually manages to step on his position. “Isn’t it a bit early for a final boss cliche?”

Nadia shrugs, shrinking to her normal size as the Plants crowd around.

Tile Turnip starts fanboying a little bit. “OH MY GOSH THAT WAS AWESOME!!!” he yells to Aidan. “Was that Street Fighter? I saw you do Dhalsim’s thing and Blanka’s thing and Ryu’s things and-“

“Slow down there,” Aidan laughs. “Yes, it was Street Fighter. But I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure out which was which on your own.” Turnip frowns but nods his head. He was probably looking for confirmation of his suspicions.

“You two have quite a lot of power,” Citron says, smirking. “Could you come by someday and slap some sense into my brother? Or just slap him around in general? ”

“Gladly,” Aidan responds, still laughing, “although I don’t think it’ll do much considering the way he is.”

“Now I see what Peahooter and Sunflower were so impressed with,” Starfruit says. He looks a little dizzy but that’s about it. A little is also pretty good considering how much nonstop spinning he did. “You two have a lot of fight in you, more than the kids that Dave watches over.”

“I’ve always had a lot of fight in me,” Nadia smirks, “but now I can do it a lot better than before. It’s primarily experience, but a few... Tricks don’t hurt either.” A trash bin goes flying toward Aidan as a demonstration, but he dodges it at the last second and it smacks Nadia instead. “Filius de-“

“Either way,” Starfruit says, interrupting Nadia’s swear, “thank you so much for your help. As flu can see, we’re a little low on man- er, plant power. Keem doesn’t do anything and this is his house so it’s really important that we defend it.”

“Well, if you ever need a little more help, I can give you this,” Aidan says. He pulls a red blanket from behind his back and gives it to Laser Bean. “Put it on whenever you feel like you need a boost. And Turnip?” He turns to the root. “Perhaps you’d best take time to learn how to use that... Book I gave you works. Perhaps Rose can help you.”

“Book? What book?” His face contorts in confusion before lighting up with recognition. “Wait, the book that that girl gave me from that guy on that question thing a while ago? From that Gamer guy who said it was from Robin?” His eyes light up further. “Wait, was that you?”

“Uh... No,” Aidan says. “That’s our... friend. But the book was from me.” Tile Turnip is dumbstruck.

“Well, it’s been fun, guys,” Nadia says, tapping her watch for Aidan to see. “Unfortunately we need to go. See you!” She nods to Rotom to switch off and he does.