User:AwkwardSkeleton/PLANTS VS ZOMBIES 2: A GUIDE FOR THE BRAINLESS

This is a guide on how to play Plants vs Zombies 2: It's About Time. Unlike what the title says, it is NOT a guide on how to get brains, so if you are a zombie put this book back on the shelf and eat the cashier on the way out because he made me give him a tip.

DISCLAIMER: MOST OF THE INFORMATION IN THIS ARTICLE COMES FROM OTHER PAGES. TO SEE THE ORIGINAL SOURCE CLICK THE LINK. NO ZOMBIES OR PLANTS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS GUIDE.

YOUR PLANTS
This section contains plant spoilers for PvZ 2 so if you didn't want to know that the peashooter is in PvZ 2 then find a different guide.

A Crash Course on Plant Food
Plant Food is a powerup for your plants. When fed to the plants they go into overdrive and do amazing things. You can hold 3 of them at a time (later 4). You can also buy one for 1000 in game coins. Each plant overview will also include its reaction to plant food.Plants these days! Back in my day, we didn't even have plant food.

ZOMBIES: THE ENEMY
The zombies are coming, and you don't know what their special abilities are. There is a good chance the zombies don't know either. I made this guide so the zombies will stop wondering about their special abilities and focus on eating your non existent brains. Oh, and you might be able to make use of it too.

COLUMNPOINTS DEMYSTIFIED
By now you probably know the hitpoints of each zombie. Unfortunately hit points are very hard to calculate so calculate its columnpoints instead. The columnpoints determine how many columns on your lawn a zombie can go before being composted if he is being hit by 1 pea at a time. Unfortunately some zombies have special properties (such as moving faster after taking a certain amount of damage) so this doesn't work for all zombies.
 * Divide the zombie's columnpoints by the number of peas hitting it.
 * The zombie has double columnpoints if it moves at hungry speed, and half if moving at stiff speed.

(Note: this strategy come from the Vasebreaker Endless page, so if you want to congratulate me on my pure awesomeness be sure to congratulate that guy too)

Strategies
Up to now I've recieved a lot of complaints that this guide is just stating the obvious things that everybody who plays PvZ 2 knows. In this section I will get to the harder nuts and bolts of the game-mainly the challenge zones.

Chili Bean Opening
Since there are no garden rakes in PvZ 2 you will have to make do with instant kills. When the 1st zombie comes plant an instant kill on its lane as far back as possible. In the time it takes for the zombie to make the most obnoxious noise known to man you will have a lot of sunflowers. Chili Bean is most effective. You could use Potato Mine but it will be harder to use in the later stages of the game. Spring Bean is not a bad choice either but you can only use it on Pirate Seas and you have to plant it near water. (The best place for the Spring Bean opening is about 4 lanes from your house, or when the water ends).

Twin Sunflower Opening
When you get Twin Sunflowers in Challenge mode start the round by planting a sunflower. Next use Plant Food on it and make a Twin Sunflower. Keep alternating between sunflowers and twin sunflowers and you will have a column of both before you know it. This is best used with the chili bean opening.

WARNING: You may not want to use this strategy later on in challenge mode as plant food becomes scarce.

Last Stand
When you play Last Stand, all the levels are related in the fact that you have an arseload of sun and you have to fight an arseload of hungry zombies. You have a setup period to plant everything you can. Everything recharges instantly during setup. Free plants are not allowed so if you were planning to fill your entire lawn with iceberg lettuces then you should play some other level. (This is possible in ONE level.) Also sun generating plants are banned and no sun falls from the sky. Here are some tested strategies that will completely obliterate all the zombies and dancing chickens that come toward your house. NOTE: Most games are like peeling onions: There are multiple ways to go at it and they make you cry. The fun in the game comes from finding your own strategies. This is just one way to peel the onion so try to find your own way to play the game. (note: this was written so I am not credible for the strategy failing)

Last Stand II (Pirate Seas)
(YES! THIS STRATEGY ACTUALLY WORKS! you gotta be careful with your shots though)

Last Stand III (Pirate Seas)
For those poor souls without Winter Melons:

Cannons Away
Have you ever wanted to shoot a seagull with a cannon? No? Well they made a minigame for that anyway. Plus, the seagulls make ridiculous noises when shot by cannons or boomerangs so that's worth some extra funpoints.