User blog:Brainulator9/Top Ten Hottest Female Plants (parody)

Plants vs. Zombies. One of the greatest and most attractive games thought up. They can shoot at sound speed, take out enemies in a flash, and best of all, they're green-colored and know how to handle the females. Speaking of females, the Plants vs. Zombies universe may also be classified as Hot Chick Heaven because there's such a mess of beautiful and tough women that it'll make you love the franchise even more. And since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top ten list of the most beautiful female plants. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of orange juice and try not to reach through the screen because here we go!

Number 10: Try this question on for size: who produces and secretes sun all the time and wields a powerful Plant Food effect? Why, it's Sunflower, of course! Though more of a cutie than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that she's still attractive. Two things that make her attractive is the fact that she wears a costume and when have you ever seen three big, very smooth arcs of leafs sticking out of a plant's bottom? I haven't! So, once again, Sunflower is lovely... that is, until she goes berserk and starts hitting stuff with her petals.

Who's that number 9? It's this shadow plant girl from a nearby timeframe: Moonflower from Modern Day. She arrived on the player's lawn to deliver a message saying that the house was under attack by the zombies. She doesn't do much besides produce sun and power other plants. The real reason why she lands at the number 9 spot is because she becomes a table's sweetheart, something that the table needed for a very long time.

Numero ocho (Spanish): Potato Mine's mother, Sweet Potato. She's attractive and is the size of an average potato mother. What really surprises me about her is that the leader of the roof plants, Garlic, falls in love with her. Kind of silly, don't you think? She's another character that doesn't do much, but in a Food Fight Piñata Party, she helps Phat Beet get away to fight the zombies along with Peashooter and friends.

What number's next? Seven, of course! Marigold of the Roof! People always root for the good plants, but sometimes, the bad plants steal the show! Her functional IQ is equal to Flower Pot's. She also happens to be the smartest member of the Coin League. I wonder why she isn't the leader! Like Cabbage-pult and Umbrella Leaf, her specialty is riding the terra cotta called Flower Pots. With two very long and smooth leaves extending from the left to the right and droopy use, Marigold will rock your socks. If only we could see her take wing...

Numero six (French): Narcissus from Plants vs. Zombies Online. Named after an ancient Greek person of the same name, Narcissus is the daughter is Chief Cacaca. She's another plant that except beg Explorer Zombies to stop burning plants. She also traps herself in the Chinese bullcrap so that the Chinese chaos doesn't reign terror on the lawn. When you're the daughter of the person in the highest power, you need to look your best, and Narcissus delivers perfectly. That's why she's number six.

Number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! (thunder) Ah-ah-ah! Sunflower Singer from Chinese PvZ2. How could you go wrong with a girl that looks like this? She can produce sun nearly as fast as Sunflower and she went from being a zombie fighter to being a pop-star singer. Next to Princess Peach, she looks more plant-like than the other characters. Who could top someone who has long, suave hair?

This female standing at number 4: Fire Peashooter. One word: pyrokinesis. How would you like to have that superpower? I mean, Fire Peashooter could play in the Himalayas for hours and she would be perfectly fine! Also, her 45-degree flame makes her look like a Native American. I really love the fact that her love interest is the telekinetic thymus Thyme Warp. The combination of zombie-moving and fire superpowers make these two a reliable couple. But what really lands Fire Peashooter in the number spot is that her attitude is apparently more different than the other females.

Next up is number three. What's better female with cascading petals? How about a character with cascading petals and a stem? Ghost Pepper, another limited-time gemium, has that feature. She's smart, knows exactly what do to as a zombie fighter, and even trained Sunflower once. She's also the girl of Lava Guava's dreams. Heh, lucky him. Her powered in the Chinese version of PvZ2, is just downright powerful. Just look at that powerful Plant Food effect! Now we're talkin'!

Number 1, 2, button my shoe! Princess Heavenly Peach. There's a lot to say about this plant. She's the air to the moan, EMPeachy4's first official avatar, the only plant who used to not have a costume, brave and powerful, the most plant-like character, and is like a nurse to the plants. In the world Kung-Fu World, one plant, the powerful White Radish, constantly tries to woo Heavenly Peach, but doesn't succeed because... he is powered. The plant is also a semi-perfect example of an excellent love interest, although there were a couple of times where she really snapped and acted like a lunatic... in the Special Delivery levels, that is. But overall, Heavenly Peach really stands out amongst the slew of females not because she's White Radish's first official love interest, or because she's the only one who didn't wear a costume, but because in the comics, she grew very long leaves and saved plants in the future, becoming a god.

So, you've seen a pyrokinetic pea shooter, a marigold, two gourgeous sunflowers, and even a peach! Who could possibly top those kinds of females? Well, get ready, folks: this is the number 1 hottest Plants vs. Zombies female plant: Blooming Heart. If anybody denies it, how dare you! This plant can, she's as strong as lawn mowers, and is a femme fatale seducing other zombies into getting what she wants Instead of having one plant code-taken, she has two: Pepper-pult and Sap-fling. Being a random plant, she only fights with one projectile type: hearts, especially at full power. There have been situations where Blooming Heart's glitch has been exposed, but it eventually got patched. What a price to pay! I think the best part about this beauty is that she wears two different costumes, unlike the other female characters. And who wouldn't want to fly across the landscape, be as strong as Shawn Johnson, and flirt with any plant, anytime, anywhere?! These three traits makes Blooming Heart triumph over all of the plant females. My hat goes off to you, PopCap! You oughta be proud.

There you have it, folks! Those were the hottest female plants in the Plants vs. Zombies universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll see you later! Here we go! (play Rick Astley's Whenever You Need Somebody)