User blog:BoltznNutz/Everything Wrong with PvZ Garden Warfare In X Minutes or Less

This is a parody of CinemaSins. If you are not familiar with them, go check out their videos on Youtube. However, they do swear, but censor it.

And...it starts....now!


 * 1) Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare was released 8 months after it was revealed.
 * 2) Cactus originally had 100 health.
 * 3) In some pre-release videos, all abilities and some Level 10 characters were seen although ALL of them were either Level 1 or Level 2.
 * 4) Hot Rod Chomper has 50 less health than a Chomper, although it looks more durable.
 * 5) Count Chompula's fangs look like they deal more damage than a normal Chomper bite to me, but guess what? They don't!
 * 6) Shadow Flower is almost useless since basic Sunflowers were buffed in the Tactical Taco Party DLC.
 * 7) Fire Cactus was nerfed two times. TWO TIMES!!!
 * 8) Berry Shooter was from being OP to UP. Just because of a single nerf.
 * 9) Imp Punts and Long Bombs recharge too quickly.
 * 10) Imp Punts deal more damage think you it does before you knew its damage.
 * 11) Since Berry Shooter's nerf, the Peashooter's primary projectile deals the most damage out of all of the variants.
 * 12) The Zombies' overpoweredness makes Garden Ops very hard in some cases.
 * 13) Toxic Pea, Marine Biologist and Chemist are still very powerful, although they were nerfed heavily.
 * 14) Standing next to a fire-variant enemy doesn't make you lose health.
 * 15) Freeze effects from Ice Pea, Ice Cactus, Arctic Trooper and Goalie Star don't deal damage. I mean where you stuck in place by an ice variant.
 * 16) Commando Pea deals too little damage at long range.
 * 17) Agent Pea is the only character to receive a health loss in a certain DLC.
 * 18) Law Pea's nerf makes Agent Pea way better, although Agent Pea has gotten -25 health in the same DLC.
 * 19) Fire Flower dated a Fire Pea?
 * 20) Mystic Flower charges up quicker than Future Cactus. Not really a sin or anything, but just wanted to point that out...
 * 21) Sun Pharaoh before that Taco dlc, could rapid-fire by pressing LB without letting go of the trigger. Logic?
 * 22) Also, Sun Pharaoh could still shoot faster when pressing LB even currently but does not rapid-fire.
 * 23) The uncustomized Alien Flower is just too creepy...
 * 24) Count Chompula does not heal itself after swallowing a shield or chomping a zombie from the front.
 * 25) Armor Chomper is too friggin' slow. That's why the default Chomper is better than him in some cases.
 * 26) Chester Chomper is just like Count Chompula but does not heal itself and swallows faster.
 * 27) Chomp Thing is too UP.
 * 28) Power Cactus should deal more damage or have more ammo.
 * 29) Camo Cactus's aim when not zooming in is too-spreaded out.
 * 30) Bandit Cactus deals too little damage.
 * 31) The orange burst from Citrus Cactus deals more damage than you might think before you get to see how much damage it does.
 * 32) Super Commando's reload time is too quick.
 * 33) Sky Trooper should deal more damage.
 * 34) Engineer...you should know this.
 * 35) Welder does too little damage for a powerful-looking "Welding Blaster". I don't have him though.
 * 36) Landscaper...can't get those impact hits.
 * 37) Sanitation Expert does not look toxic.
 * 38) Marine Biologist has a slower fire rate along with less damage in the Sorrow of the Lawn (bad pun) DLC.
 * 39) Marine Biologist can only wear his glasses with his aqua helmet.
 * 40) Also, instead of doing neither of that above, shouldn't have a Slow reload time?
 * 41) Dr. Toxic should deal more damage.
 * 42) Astronaut before the Garden Variety DLC could have a beard in his space helmet.
 * 43) Chemist has too little range. It should deal like 3-7 damage at short-mid range, but that's just my opinion.
 * 44) Archaeologist should deal more damage.
 * 45) Goalie Star, before the Sorrow of the Lawn DLC, could fire his primary weapon for 30 seconds without upgrades. ???
 * 46) Hockey Star deals little damage and overheats too quickly. And by the name "Stinky Glove Launcher" it sounds like it should be toxic.
 * 47) Super Pea Jump should've gone faster and slightly higher.
 * 48) Turbo Jackhammer and Sprint Burrow should've had a longer duration.
 * 49) Dark Flower should heal like, every 20 seconds and stop shooting at that time. Just my opinion again.
 * 50) Heal pots/stations should last forever, or at least last longer. So does Dark Flower but make it weaker health or damage-wise.
 * 51) Potted plants are too UP.
 * 52) Summonable zombies focus too much on the above mentioned pots.
 * 53) Coffins look less durable than how much damage they take.
 * 54) Barrel Pirates replace Outhouse Zombies in Garden Ops maps Sharkbite Shores and Port Scallywag, although I THINK it's even weaker than Coffin Zombie.
 * 55) You can only place 2 of Spiky Spikeweeds. What the???
 * 56) Multi-Rocket deals less damage than how much damage a ZPG deals combined, although it says "What's better than launching one ZPG? Launching many ZPGs!!"
 * 57) The 20-health drones should deal more damage.
 * 58) Slenderman is in this game.
 * 59) Mega Heal Bomb should AT LEAST hurt plants a little.
 * 60) There is only one activation of Cheesy Warp before cooling down.
 * 61) Shield Decoys are too weak. Even 4 of them are less than 2 Dummy Shields combined health-wise.
 * 62) The Ultra Tackle card photo is actually Sprint Tackle.
 * 63) The Super Stink Cloud card photo is actually Zombie Stink Cloud.
 * 64) The Rocket Drone cone photo shows multiple cone strikes although it only deploys in ONE at a time.
 * 65) The Armored Heal Station card photo is just a re-skinned version of the Zombie Heal Station photo.
 * 66) The Long Bomb icon in the abilities section shows Imp Punt while Imp Punt's icon shows Exploding Imp.
 * 67) Scientists and Baron Von Bats can warp on to a rooftop.

And that's a total of 67 sins. Feel free to say some more I forgot on here, but do not say "Fire Flower is a rip-off of Mario's Fire Flower", that's very obvious.