User blog:TheO0032/Plotless humor: "book" one

This is a story that I created with google docs and am too lazy to use command c and v to upload to fiction press. So I used command c and v here.

Summary
This is a “book” with highly concentrated humor. I made it because I think I can write good comic strip scripts, but I simply cannot draw. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The UnneSecary CapitaliZations

There once was a dog, who lived in a bog, and the bog had a featureless skunk. The dog in the bog had his own synagogue, and with that, he began to eat monk.

Monk: Why are you going this?

Skunk: Because goD told me to.

Monk: You mean Dog!

Skunk: Eh, same thing.

Synagogue: Hello, goD tells you, skunk, to eat more of the monK.

Skunk: Sure thing, synaGogue. (Begins to eat the monk once more)

Monk: They are not the samE thing! God is what we worship, and Dog is what Nobody worshIps.

(Dog whispers in Skunk’s ear: Change your name to Nobody)

Skunk: I just changed my name to Nobody.

Monk: Why!

Skunk: Because goD told me to do so.

Monk: (facepalms)

Skunk: Mmmm, these legs are tasty!

Punk: (sees the skunk) Stop eating the monk!

Skunk: Nah. Thanks for offering.

Punk: Then I will need to take you on.

Skunk: (releases a stinky smell)

Punk: Ew… (runs away from the smell)

Skunk: Now, Monk, I can eat you in Peace!

Monk: Eat me in pieces instead!

Dog: Why did that stupid sKunk release that Stinky smell again?

Skunk: i offer a tribute, goD. (Gives Dog a basket of fruit)

Dog: Nice, nice… (accepts the fruit)

Chapter 2: The bad puns (or drapes) of wrath. And also schizophrenia. Somehow. And a very long chapter title. That too.
Skunk: We should somehow find a way to get rid of the smog in the bog, goD. Maybe Frog? Or your synagogue?

Dog: Not my synagogue. But frog might be able to help?

Skunk: To get rid of the smog fog, goD Dog, we use Frog or your Synagogue, or maybe Log, goD Dog. Maybe Log.

Dog: (facepaws)

(TIMESKIP NOW! 10 hours later…)

Dog: Well that failed.

Skunk: That was a fail. We drank too much ginger ale, then crashed into a rail, then into a sail and we went to jail, so we needed bail, so we looked through the mail and went on our trail to find in the mail that I have a tail.

Dog: Stop the puns.

Skunk: But that is an accurate thing, goD.

Dog: Really?

Skunk: Yes.

Dog: I know a condition that you probably have.

Skunk: What?

Dog: Schizophrenia.

Skunk: What is that, Mr. Slug? Oh you don’t know? Doh.

Dog: It’s seeing things that aren’t there.

Skunk: According to Bug, that’s hallucinations.

Dog: No, schizophrenia is a more severe form of hallucinations.

Skunk: Rug says it’s the other way around.

Dog: Where are these guys?

Skunk: How didn’t you notice Rug? He was at my feet the entire time! Slug is on my tail. And Bug is on Rug, at my feet too.

Dog: Schizophrenia confirmed.

Skunk: What is Schizophrenia?

Dog: Some condition.

Skunk: Bug had asked, but you didn’t seem to hear him, goD.

Dog: It’s about time you addressed me as that.

Skunk: Really?

Dog: Yes.

Skunk: Really?

Dog: Yes.

Skunk: Really?

Dog: Can you stop saying that?

Skunk: Really?

Dog: Yes.

Skunk: Rug said “really?”. You didn’t hear him.

(Dog facepaws)

Chapter 3: Slavery attempts, and the very short... Doh. It’s too long now.
Dog: Today, you shall be my slave!

Skunk: But I don’t want to be your slave, goD!

More to be added...