Board Thread:Fun and games/@comment-5760976-20180312230301/@comment-18464102-20180319023702



Note: Foot Soldier Zombie was used because I can't find any GW or GW2 zombies that are actually dumb. So I had to use him as a placeholder.

Foot Soldier Zombie (FSZ): Now you must be wondering what happened since Garden Warfare 2. Well, this is what happened...

(Flashback to airport check-in)

FSZ: YES! Vacation time!

Gadget Scientist (GS) ( GS Ball of Pokemon means Gadget Scientist ball ): Sigh. My vacation at last and I have to spend it with this numbskull...

FSZ: No. It's because you love me, don't you?

GS: No! It's because your IQ is negative and so by law, you need a guardian so you don't blow anything up.

FSZ: See? You love me! I'm telling everyone!

GS: Sigh...

(Airport security check)

FSZ: Ah. I'm much better than these scrubs.

GS: Yes. It's because they aren't as childish as you.

FSZ (sad face): Hey... (proceeds to place their luggage on the scanner) Now hopefully they don't find the bomb.

GS (shocked): WAIT! WHAT?

(the alarms sound, causing Grome Security members to look through for the bomb, which was an RPG in this case)

Grome: What is this?

FSZ: Scientist, I'm so ashamed of you!

GS: What?

FSZ: They are not a toy! (to the Gromes) Get him, fellas, he's the one you want! (escapes) LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

GS: (turns to face them) Sigh.....

(later on at the Canterlot arrival airport taxi stand)

FSZ: See? We made it here in one piece and it was all because they loved me.

GS: Are you serious? We only got out because I managed to convince them that you were a mental hospital resident.

FSZ: Stop being so low to me and get in the taxi.

GS: Sigh... (does so)

(Taxi ride)

FSZ: So Scientist. What hotel are we staying in? Will it be a 5-star hotel with a penthouse view of the city?

GS: Don't expect anything too grand. We don't have much money.

FSZ: Wow. There will be butlers and Gardevoirs. Gardeviors in cute maid attires and golden toilets. Scientist, will I have a golden toilet?

GS: Sigh...

(Eventually, they reached the hotel)

GS: We're here.

FSZ: Really? I don't see it. Is the hotel behind this lousy building?

(they enter the building)

GS: Great value for the cost.

FSZ: WHY!!!!!!

(they enter their room)

FSZ: This room is so small, if I decide to relive myself here, the stool will be larger than this room, and you know how small they are.

GS: Stop being like a shrunken zombie. I told you we can't afford anything flashy. This is already a good place. Anyway, we won't spend much time here.

FSZ: We're hitting the beaches and nightclubs right?

GS: That's right!

(on the sidewalk, Foot Soldier Zombie is about to do his swag walkway to the beach)

GS: Foot Soldier, you better not sing in public!

FSZ: ''You can tell by the way I move my swag. I'm a sexy man. No time to swag. If I need to go or to take a dump. I'm a sexy man. Every time I go, everybody's eyes are breaking. Ah Ah Ah. Stayin' swagggggggggggg!!!!!''

GS: (holding an adoption poster with Foot Soldier Zombie's face on it) My god! My ears are bleeding! Can someone please take him away from me?

FSZ: I know you loved it. Wanna hear my ten-hour remix?

(GS was gone)

FSZ: Oh come on...

(At the beach)

GS (relaxing on a mat): Finally. Foot Soldier is gone from me. My intelligent brain cannot stand him near me, especially after hearing his dumb song.

FSZ: Hey there. Stop being lazy at once.

GS: Go away.

FSZ: Here. You should have something sweet in your life. (drop ice-cream on Scientist's face) Your salt level in life should be nulled with something sweet as well.

GS: My god! Why won't this lump of dead weight leave me be? Go play in the ocean or something.

FSZ: The ocean? (looks at it) But the ocean has jellyfish, fisherman zombie, tangle kelp and Guacodile. Have you seen Shark Tales? That can scar you for the rest of time.

GS: That is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Oh. (points at Bikini Zombie) I think that girl winked at you.

FSZ: (looks at her) Oh yeah! The ocean can't stop a romance. (goes to her)

GS: Thank god. I can relax at last.

FSZ: Hey baby! I didn't notice you there! Did it hurt when you fell from the heavens because your face looks like it was smashed in?

Bikini Zombie (BZ): What do you mean?

FSZ: No I mean do you have a face of an angel or something like that?

BZ: Argh. Guys nowadays with their cheesy lines.... (gets swept by the tide) AHHHHHHHHH! I'm being washed away!

Octo-Zombie (as the lifeguard) (OZ): (sees Bikini Zombie being swept away) Octo-pet time! (goes over to save her)

FSZ: Oh no you don't! She's mine! (fires a paintball at him, instantly killing Octo Zombie) Here I come to save you! (jumps into the water to realize one thing) Oh, wait! I can't swim! The water's eating me! (quickly swim over to Bikini Zombie) I need you to prevent me from drowning and being eaten alive I don't want to die!...

(Later...)

FSZ: (coughing) Argh... what happened...

GS: Don't you die on me, man!

FSZ: WHAT THE! I don't want you in my face Scientist!

GS: Thank god! Now I don't have to pay for your respawning fees!

OZ (angry): HEY YOU! (points at Foot Soldier Zombie) YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME JUST NOW!

FSZ: AH! Angry man in underwear! My one weakness!

(both zombies start running away with Octo-Zombie in pursuit)

GS: Are you kidding me? Why would you shoot the guy?

FSZ: Hey! Peashooters always shoot me and I live through them. That guy's just a weak being!

(they ran into Zompolpolis's petrol station with a car nearby)

FSZ: AH! I have an idea! (goes over to driver) Hey man, you won't believe it but Chompzilla is attacking the city and don't take your car, please.

Driver (Mecha-Football): Say what?

FSZ (sees Octo-zombie get closer): You know what? Forget about it. (shoots the driver dead before taking away his mech) Come on. We must go!

GS: WHAT! But I don't want to go to jail for this!

FSZ: I said get into the car!

Octo-Zombie: ARGH! Forget it. I need to check on my octo-pets.

(driving scene now)

GS: Why would you do this?

FSZ: No need to say it bud. Now, where's my thank you?

GS: (hears some sirens. He proceeds to see that it was the Equestrian Royal Guard forces after them) Thank you for making us fugitives you dimwit!

FSZ: No prob- wait. (looks to see the guards) Oh dang. It's ok. I played GTA 5.

GS: WHAT!

(they all go around a corner, with Foot Soldier Zombie pushing one of the chariots into a wall, causing it to explode)

Guard: This is the police! Pull over now or we will shoot!

GS: PLEASE HELP ME I'M BEING KIDNAPPED AND I DON'T KNOW THIS ZOMBIE...

FSZ: YOU CAN GO CRASH INTO A WALL YOU WEAKLINGS!

GS: (To Foot Soldier Zombie) My god you're actually a psycho... (fights with him for the wheel) Give that to me! I don't want to die.

(they end up bickering over the wheel, causing them to crash into a fire hydrant)

FSZ (getting out of the wreckage): Woo! What's my score Scientist?

GS: Foot Soldier, I'm so close to strangling you...

FSZ: (Hears the sirens come closer) Hurry! This way!

(they approach a costume shop, with foot soldier zombie entering first)

FSZ: Come. Hide in here.

GS: NO! Your stupid ideas landed us in this mess in the first place. I'm gonna get us out of this.

FSZ: So your idea is to turn yourself in?

GS: On seconds thoughts, fine.

FSZ: Knew it. (they both hide in the shop with the guards waiting for them to exit)

(Eventually, Derpy Hooves (DH) leave the shop looking like Foot Soldier Zombie)

DH: Oh good day officers. What's the matter? (gets gunned down and arrested)

(the officers leave the scene and the two zombies appear from the shop)

FSZ: Thank god we lost them. Now it's party time.

GS (walking back): I'm going back to the hotel.

FSZ: Why? The party just started. (sudden thought) Albert Hawkings you will come here right now.

GS: What? That's not even my real name.

FSZ: Fine. Who will be my wingman?

GS: Not me, even if you paid me.

FSZ: Fine. Who will be my BFF?

(Gadget Scientist was gone)

FSZ: (suddenly appears in front of Gadget Scientist) Please? Please Please?

GS: (punches Foot Soldier Zombie) I came here for a vacation! Ever since it started I had to bail you out of the airport, listen to your ear bleed songs, you almost died, and now, we're wanted felons!

FSZ: Don't forget I also blew up a police chariot!

GS: Screw you I'm done.

FSZ: But Gadget Scientist... (gadget scientist) I'm... I'm... I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant and you're the father.

(gadget scientist was gone)

FSZ: Opps. Shouldn't have done that...

(now onto Gadget Scientist)

GS: Ah. The walk back alone was the best part of this vacation. Now to sleep and hopefully when I wake up he will be either in the gutter drunk or arrested. (he bathes) Man. Maybe I was too harsh on him. He was just trying to have fun.

FSZ (burst in with two big beer boxes): Look man. I'm very sorry for all what happened but I'm gonna make it up. Since you won't go to the party, I brought the party here!

GS: You know what? This is the best idea ever! Throw me a beer.

FSZ: Yeah! This is gonna be so lit!

(one wild party later)

GS (waking up in a hangover) Argh. My head... it feels like it's going to explode.

FSZ: Wow. You're so weak. I'm still very fit.

(The door was knocked)

GS: It's probably room service. Can you answer it?

FSZ: Sure. Anything. (opens it to see the guards waiting to arrest him) On seconds thoughts, I do feel weak. (coughs) Let's stay in.

(end of flashback)

FSZ: And that is what happened after Garden Warfare 2. Now, let's begin Garden Warfare 3.

THE END!

So... how was it? Sorry if there was any swears left in that I missed out. I really tried to cut them...