User blog:Plant Protecter/PP's PvZ Fanfictions: Treasure Hunt

My eighth fanfiction. Special thanks to for creating the idea for this fanfiction and for asking me to write it.

Treasure Hunt


 * [The story starts on a pirate ship near the beach of a large island in the middle of an unknown ocean. Relic Hunter Zombie is seen walking on the ship's deck, near some barrels.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: Pirate Captain Zombie? Are you here? I got the map!


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie waits for an reply, but none come.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: He must be busy. [looks at a barrel] I may as well wait here until he arrives.


 * [He walks towards one of the upright barrels and sits on top of it.]

???: (whispering) Hey!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (looks around) I'm sure I heard something.

???: (whispering) Ye did! It's me, ye landlubber!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (looks around again) Pirate Captain Zombie? Where are you?

Pirate Captain Zombie: I be hiding in one of these here barrels with me parrot.

Relic Hunter Zombie: (confused) Your parrot's in there with you?

Zombie Parrot: Yep. And boy, is it stuffy in here.

Relic Hunter Zombie: Why are you even in one of the barrels?

Pirate Captain Zombie: Just in case some landlubbers be spying on us.

Relic Hunter Zombie: Oh. Well, I got the map.

Pirate Captain Zombie: (excited) Ye did? Show me.

Zombie Parrot: Treasure!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (slightly annoyed) Get out of the barrel first.


 * [The barrel Relic Hunter Zombie is sitting on starts to shake and jump around. It then stops after a few seconds.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: I can't. There be a heavy object on top of the barrel I be in.

Zombie Parrot: (squawks) Try again! Try again!


 * [The barrel Relic Hunter Zombie is sitting on starts to shake and jump around again. Relic Hunter Zombie loses his grip of the barrel and falls off it. The lid of the barrel is thrown on the ground and Pirate Captain Zombie and Zombie Parrot then come out of the barrel.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: So, where be this map?

Zombie Parrot: Yeah, landlubber. Where is it?

Relic Hunter Zombie: The map? Oh right!


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie puts his hand inside his satchel and rummages around in it before pulling out an ancient piece of paper. He then hands it to Pirate Captain Zombie. Pirate Captain Zombie then looks at the map and rotates the map while looking at it confused.].

Pirate Captain Zombie: (confused) Ye sure this be the map? It don't make any sense.

Zombie Parrot: You're holding it upside down, you idiot. (squawks)

Pirate Captain Zombie: (realising) Oooh. (rotates the map again) It looks shipshape, but I can't read the clues.

Relic Hunter Zombie: (annoyed) Give me that. (swipes the map from Pirate Captain Zombie) Of course. The clues are in another language.

Pirate Captain Zombie: How should I have known? I be an illiterate undead pirate with a parrot for a pet.

Zombie Parrot: Learn to read!


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie's eyes widen and he smiles.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: I think I know someone who can help us.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Ye better not be taking the treasure for ye self. Argh.

Relic Hunter Zombie: I'm not. Promise. I'll be back in around 30 minutes.


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie jumps off the ship onto the beach. He then runs off-screen.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Wait. How long be 30 minutes again?


 * [Zombie Parrot sighs and slowly shakes his head.]


 * [The scene cuts to a mansion in the middle of the Lost City. The camera moves to the inside of the mansion, and then into a room filled with chemicals, science-related objects and small black smudges on the walls, the remainders of potion creating gone wrong. Parasol Zombie is seen facing a worktop holding a green potion and a blue potion.]

Parasol Zombie: I better not mess this up like last time.


 * [The screen flashes white, and it shows Parasol Zombie's mansion. An explosion is heard, and black smoke rises from some of the windows. The screen flashes white again, and it returns to Parasol Zombie holding the two potions.]

Parasol Zombie: I had to wear a wig until my hair grew back.


 * [Parasol Zombie then slowly starts pouring the green potion into the blue potion. Relic Hunter Zombie then walks into her laboratory and leans on one of the worktops behind her.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: Hi.


 * [Parasol Zombie, surprised by Relic Hunter Zombie's sudden appearance, fumbles with the potions she's holding for a couple of seconds, and then puts them onto the worktop. She then sighs and turns around to face Relic Hunter Zombie.]

Parasol Zombie: (annoyed) What do YOU want?

Relic Hunter Zombie: Don't tell me you're still angry about what happened.

Parasol Zombie: (angry) Yes I'm still angry!

Relic Hunter Zombie: I thought you forgave me when you invited me to join you on that expedition about those tile things.

Parasol Zombie: (angry) I did because I THOUGHT you changed. But I was wrong. Now, before I completely lose my temper, what do you want?

Relic Hunter Zombie: I need your help.

Parasol Zombie: I'm not going to help you. But, to show that a little bit of me has forgiven you, Excavator Zombie can help you, after he's finished building the swimming pool in the backyard.

Relic Hunter Zombie: No, I need YOUR help.

Parasol Zombie: Well too bad.


 * [Parasol Zombie crosses her arms, closes her eyes and turns around away from Relic Hunter Zombie.]

Parasol Zombie: I'm not going to help.


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie sighs and takes out multiple long pieces of rope from his satchel. He then slowly starts walking towards Parasol Zombie.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: I didn't want to do this, but you've left me with no choice.


 * [Hearing this, Parasol Zombie turns around with a confused look on her face.]

Parasol Zombie: (confused) Do what? (notices the rope Relic Hunter Zombie's holding) Wait, what are you doing with those? (scared) Wait! Stop! Stay away from me! No! NO!


 * [Parasol Zombie then screams. The scene changes to Stallia, who is sleeping under a tree. Parasol Zombie's scream is heard, and she wakes up, startled.]

Stallia: (yawn and stretches) Of course. Just when you take a nap, something happens and it wakes you up. (yawns) I going back to sleep.


 * [Stallia falls back to sleep.]

[A minute earlier]


 * [Parasol Zombie then screams. The scene changes to the mansion's backyard, where a large rectangular hole can be seen. The camera move inside the hole to see Excavator Zombie digging. He hears Parasol Zombie's scream and looks up.]

Excavator Zombie: Probably another experiment gone wrong. Just like yesterday. (looks around) I think I dug the pool deep enough. And I found some interesting objects.


 * [Excavator Zombie holds up some gold coins.]

Excavator Zombie: Parasol Zombie's already rich. She doesn't need these.


 * [Excavator Zombie puts the coins into his pocket. He then picks up a T. Rex skull.]

Excavator Zombie: Maybe Parasol Zombie could donate this to the museum. Its T. Rex exhibit needs a skull after it was stolen.


 * [Excavator Zombie places the skull beside him. He then picks up a brown bag. He looks at it in surprise and then looks at the camera.]

Excavator Zombie: You never saw this.


 * [Excavator Zombie quickly digs a hole and places the brown bag inside it. He covers up the hole and wipes the sweat away off of his forehead. He then places his shovel onto the ground, where small insects are seen walking onto it.]

Excavator Zombie: I better get out of this hole.


 * [Excavator Zombie tries to climb out of the hole, but the sides are too steep. He tries again with the other sides]

Excavator Zombie: (realises) Oh no, I dug myself a hole too steep to get out of! AGAIN! At least I have my shovel.


 * [Excavator Zombie grabs his shovel, and the handle disintegrates.]

Excavator Zombie: (stares at his broken shovel in disbelief) M-my shovel's BROKEN?!? How?!? It never breaks! Wait, what are these little insects?


 * [Excavator Zombie looks closer at the insects. A termite then pops out of the hole and blows a raspberry at him. Multiple termites then starts coming out of the holes.]

Excavator Zombie: It's OK. I don't need the handle. (pushes his shovel into one of the sides of the hole) OK. If I do this correctly, I should be free in a while.


 * [Excavator Zombie jumps onto the shovel's body. After a few bounces, the shovel snaps in half.

Excavator Zombie: (stares in disbelief) M-my shovel is even MORE broken than before?!? (staring) If those stupid termites didn't chew on my shovel handle, this never would of happened! (angry) CURSE YOU, TERMITES!!!


 * [The scene then cuts to Stallia, who is napping under a tree. Excavator Zombie's scream is then heard, and Stallia wakes up, startled.]

Stallia: (yawns and stretches) What is with all the screaming? It's Saturday morning, you lunatics! Honestly, some people just need to slow down and smell some spores. Now, back to my nap.


 * [Stallia falls back to sleep. The scene cuts to Parasol Zombie's mansion back door. It is kicked open and Relic Hunter Zombie steps out with Parasol Zombie, with her arms tied against her body with rope and her legs bound together with rope, slung over his shoulder.]

Parasol Zombie: Let me go! You will be in SO much trouble when I get free from this rope!

Relic Hunter Zombie: You forced me to do this.

Parasol Zombie: Why are you doing this? (her eyes widen) You're doing this for treasure, aren't you? You need me to help you find treasure. That's it, right?

Relic Hunter Zombie: Yes, it is.

Parasol Zombie: Well too bad. I will not help you.

Relic Hunter Zombie: Well (pokes Parasol Zombie's face) YOU are going to help me find treasure, and (pokes Parasol Zombie's face) YOU are going to help whether (pokes Parasol Zombie's face) YOU like it or not.

Parasol Zombie: (annoyed) Stop that!

Relic Hunter Zombie: Too bad. (pokes Parasol Zombie's face) YOU can't make me because-


 * [As Relic Hunter Zombie is moving his finger to poke Parasol Zombie's face again, she bites his finger. Relic Hunter Zombie's left eye twiches. He then screams loudly. The scene again cuts to Stallia, who is napping under a tree. Relic Hunter Zombie's scream is heard, and Stallia wakes up, startled.]

Stallia: (angry) That's it! I'm going back to bed. It's too noisy out here.


 * [Stallia slowly moves off-screen.]


 * [The scene cuts to the pirate ship. Pirate Captain Zombie is onboard, feeding his parrot. Relic Hunter Zombie appears behind him with a bandaged finger and Parasol Zombie. Zombie Parrot notices them and squawks.]

Zombie Parrot: Relic Hunter's back. Who's with him?


 * [Pirate Captain Zombie turns around and notices Parasol Zombie, along with Relic Hunter Zombie.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: Relic Hunter Zombie, why did ye bring this lass onto me ship?

Relic Hunter Zombie: This is Parasol Zombie. She is going to help us solve the clues and help us find the treasure. Right Parasol Zombie?

Parasol Zombie: I'm never going to help any of you.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Ye better change ye mind, or I'll feed ye to Snaggles, me pet shark.

Parasol Zombie: (shocked) Wait, what?!?

Relic Hunter Zombie: We never agreed to that!


 * [Zombie Parrot is seen whispering into Pirate Captain Zombie's "ear".]

Pirate Captain Zombie: (sighs) Apparently, Snaggles is on vacation with the other members of me crew.


 * [Parasol Zombie and Relic Hunter Zombie both sigh, relieved, at the same time.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: But we WILL make ye talk. Now if ye excuse me, I have to, uh, fetch a mop so I can swab the poop deck.

Zombie Parrot: (giggling) Poop deck.


 * [Pirate Captain Zombie then walks inside his cabin. He looks at Parasol Zombie and Relic Hunter Zombie, and closes the door. He then motions his parrot to fly onto his hook.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: I'm starting to think we shouldn't trust Relic Hunter Zombie. Ye heard how he opposed the idea of Parasol Zombie being eaten by me Snaggles.

Zombie Parrot: Yeah.

Pirate Captain Zombie: If Relic Hunter Zombie and his friend start turning against us, ye know what to do.

Zombie Parrot: Divebomb them!

Pirate Captain Zombie: Good! But for now, they may be of use.

Zombie Parrot: I see an island out of the window.

Pirate Captain Zombie: That looks like the island on the map! We're getting close to the treasure!


 * [Pirate Captain Zombie kicks his cabin door open. He smiles and faces Parasol Zombie and Relic Hunter Zombie.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: Just wanting to let ye know, we're getting closer to the treasure. And it's on (points to the island with his hook) that there island.

Relic Hunter Zombie: (half-heartedly) Yay!

Parasol Zombie: (unenthusiastically) Woopty doo.


 * [The scene changes to Pirate Captain Zombie, Relic Hunter Zombie and Parasol Zombie walking through the lust jungle on the island. Pirate Captain Zombie is trying to read the map. Zombie Parrot is on her shoulder, talking to her.]

Zombie Parrot: So, Parasol Zombie, are you friends with Relic Hunter?

Parasol Zombie: Once, we were more than friends. We actually had feelings for each other.

Zombie Parrot: Oooh, a romance story. Interesting. (squawks) Continue.

Parasol Zombie: We fell in love and got married. I thought he loved me for who I was. But I found out he was actually after my money. (glares at Relic Hunter Zombie while a tear falls out of her eye) That little whip-cracking, rope-swinging liar!

Zombie Parrot: Oooh, bad move dude.


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie hears this and looks down guiltily.]

Parasol Zombie: We divorced after a week. And after that, I hired a zombie called Excavator Zombie to be my gardener. After a while, we fell in love and got married. (glares at Relic Hunter Zombie) And this time, it lasted. Because Excavator Zombie LOVED ME FOR WHO I AM! Unlike a CERTAIN SOMEONE!


 * [Parasol Zombie then starts quietly crying, causing her mascara to run. Relic Hunter Zombie hears this and looks down even more guilty than before.]

Zombie Parrot: Would do like a hug?


 * [Parasol Zombie nods, struggling to hold back some tears. Zombie Parrot then hugs Parasol Zombie.]

Zombie Parrot: It's OK. It's going to be alright.


 * [Pirate Captain Zombie then stops walking and turns around.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: What in the seven seas is going on back there?

Zombie Parrot: Shhh. Can't you I'm trying to comfort her? (squawks quietly)

Pirate Captain Zombie: Relic Hunter Zombie, what's wrong with ye lady friend?

Relic Hunter Zombie: Uh... Well...

Parasol Zombie: (crying) He broke my heart!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (regretfully) I know, and I'm sorry.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Are ye becoming soft, Relic Hunter Zombie?

Relic Hunter Zombie: (nervously) W-what? N-no. I'm here for the same reason you are, Captain. To get the treasure.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Good. Because if ye be me enemy, ye will walk the plank when we get back to the ship. (looks at the map) According to the map, we should be able to see the "X" (points in the direction behind him) if we climb up to the brim of that there volcano.

Parasol Zombie: (shocked) Volcano?!?

Relic Hunter Zombie: (nervously) Volcano?

Zombie Parrot: (squawks) Volcano?

Pirate Captain Zombie: Volcano.


 * [Parasol Zombie, Relic Hunter Zombie and Zombie Parrot look at each other nervously.]


 * [The scene changes to Parasol Zombie, Relic Hunter Zombie, Pirate Captain Zombie and Zombie Parrot at the brim of the volcano.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: OK Relic Hunter Zombie, can ye see the "X"?

Relic Hunter Zombie: (looking around) Not yet.

Pirate Captain Zombie: Try standing on that there rock. (points to a rock near the volcano's centre) Ye might see it from there.


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie steps onto the rock. Parasol Zombie faces Zombie Parrot, who is still on her shoulder.]

Parasol Zombie: I don't like this. Zombie Parrot, do you think you would chew through these ropes?

Zombie Parrot: I could never betray my master like that!

Parasol Zombie: I'll feed you better food than what he does.


 * [Zombie Parrot's eyes widen.]

Zombie Parrot: Really?

Parasol Zombie: Oh, sure. Better than the moldy bread he may or may not feed you.


 * [Zombie Parrot starts chewing through the ropes binding Parasol Zombie's limbs together. While this is happening, Pirate Captain Zombie is slowly walking towards Relic Hunter Zombie, who is still searching for the "X". He then raises his right leg, ready to kick Relic Hunter Zombie into the volcano.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: (under his breath) I might not like doing this, but I be a pirate. And pirates don't share treasure with anybody. Not even their friends, if they have any. So long, Relic Hunter Zombie.

Parasol Zombie: (off-screen) Stop right there!


 * [Pirate Captain Zombie and Relic Hunter Zombie turn around to see Parasol Zombie without the ropes binding her limbs together.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: (in disbelief) How did you get the ropes off?


 * [Zombie Parrot then flies onto Parasol Zombie's shoulder. He then blows a raspberry at Pirate Captain Zombie.]

Pirate Captain Zombie: (angry) You yellow-bellied double crosser! No matter. I will still kick Relic Hunter Zombie into the volcano, and I'll find the treasure and it will be all mine!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (shocked) Wait, what?!?

Parasol Zombie: Oh no you don't!


 * [Parasol Zombie tackles Pirate Captain Zombie, and both fight in a dust cloud for a moment. The dust cloud then bounces towards the centre of the volcano and thenbounces into the air above the centre. The dust cloud disappears, and Parasol Zombie and Pirate Captain Zombie look down before looking at each other. They then fall into the volcano, screaming.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: Parasol Zombie! Pirate Captain Zombie!

Zombie Parrot: Master!


 * [Relic Hunter Zombie walks up to the rim of the volcano and looks into it. He finds Parasol Zombie and Pirate Captain Zombie hanging onto ledges next to each other not too far from the top of the volcano's rim.]

Parasol Zombie: We're OK!

Relic Hunter Zombie: Let me help.


 * [The ledges holding the two zombies start crumbling.]

Parasol Zombie: Quickly, save me!

Pirate Captain Zombie: No, save me!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (groans) Are we really doing the thing where I only have time to save one of you and you both argue and try to tell me who I should save?

Parasol Zombie: Yes! Now hurry up and save me!

Pirate Captain Zombie: No! Save me! Remember all the good times we've had?

Parasol Zombie: No! Remember the good times WE'VE had!

Pirate Captain Zombie: Don't listen to that spoilt brat!

Parasol Zombie: Don't listen to that scurvy-ridden pirate!

Pirate Captain Zombie: Ye can't let me fall into this here volcano! I be ye friend!

Parasol Zombie: And YOU can't let ME fall into the volcano. I know we've had our disputes, but I'm willing to forgive you!

Relic Hunter Zombie: (nervously) I... Uh...

Pirate Captain Zombie: Relic Hunter Zombie!

Parasol Zombie: Relic Hunter Zombie!


 * [The ledges holding the two zombies give way completely, and they start falling deeper into the volcano. They fall in slow motion for a couple of seconds, and then Relic Hunter Zombie grabs Parasol Zombie's hand. Pirate Captain Zombie falls deeper into the volcano and gets his hook stuck in a hole, stopping him from falling.]

Parasol Zombie: (elated) Relic Hunter Zombie!

Pirate Captain Zombie: (angry) Argh! Another yellow-bellied double crosser!

Zombie Parrot: (gasps) Master! (glares at Relic Hunter Zombie) How could you choose that girl instead of Master!


 * [Zombie Parrot flies towards Relic Hunter Zombie, getting ready to attack him. Relic Hunter, still holding Parasol Zombie's hand, takes out his whip and whacks Zombie Parrot with it.]

Zombie Parrot: (squawks in pain) Warning! Warning! Going down! Going down!


 * [Zombie Parrot starts spiralling out of control. He then sprials into the volcano and head towards Pirate Captain Zombie. He crashes into him, causing Pirate Captain Zombie's hook to be dislodged from the hole, causing him and his parrot to fall into the lava. Pirate Captain Zombie's hook is seen slowly sinking into the lava. Relic Hunter Zombie pulls Parasol Zombie onto the rim of the volcano. She then hugs him.]

Parasol Zombie: (crying happily) Thank you so much f-for saving me.

Relic Hunter Zombie: (smiling) Don't mention it. And besides, I owe you, remember?

Parasol Zombie: Really?


 * [Parasol Zombie and Relic Hunter Zombie start walking down the side of the volcano.]

Relic Hunter Zombie: Yeah. Remember that time we were at the zoo and I mixed up my whip with a poisonous rattlesnake? You save me. And now I returned the favour.

Parasol Zombie: I remember that. You freaked out due to your fear of snakes. (giggles)

Relic Hunter Zombie: (embarrassed) It's not something to laugh about!

Parasol Zombie: (giggles) Suuurrreee...

Relic Hunter Zombie: (embarrassed) Stop it!

Parasol Zombie: Nope.


 * [The two zombies continue to talk while walking into the sunset.]


 * [The scene changes to the brim of the volcano at night. An arm with a hook for a hand suddenly appears and the end of the hook digs itself into a gap between a couple of rocks. A parrot squawking can then be heard.]

THE END

Timeline


 * After "Chemical Chaos"
 * After "Trap Tile Trouble"
 * Before any other appearance of Pirate Captain Zombie or his parrot.

Trivia


 * Relic Hunter Zombie's fear of snakes (known as "ophidophobia") is a reference to Indiana Jones' fear of snakes.