Talk:Multiplayer/@comment-29637681-20180220162509

When you play this:

If you are Gold or lower: Get paired with a Taco/someone with a hacked deck. If you lose, slap yourself.

If you are Diamond or higher: Get paired with a Wood or an Ultimate. There is no in between.

If you have no Events: Get the hammer.

If you waste all your gems on packs and you only get Uncommons and Rares: Smash your phone.

If you lose your win streak: Mix it with a gallon of whiskey.

If you drop to 0 stars: Eat the shards.

If you disconnect: Park your car at the nearest cow farm and let them dump their load on the phone for the rest of the day.

If you lose at all: Just give up.