Plants vs. Zombies 2/Dialogue

These are all of the storyline dialogues from Plants vs. Zombies 2, and its Chinese version.

Player's House - Day 4
(After the player completes the level, Crazy Dave appears)

Crazy Dave: Hey neighbor!

Crazy Dave: Can I borrow your hot sauce?

(Crazy Dave brings out his taco)

Crazy Dave: I've been holding this taco forever!

(Crazy Dave eats his taco)

Crazy Dave (Surprised): Oh! That was... AMAZING!

Crazy Dave: I want to eat THAT taco again! I need my TIME MACHINE!

(Penny appears)

Crazy Dave: Her name is Penny and I'm Crazy Dave. But you call me Crazy Dave.

Penny: Finally, another User who can process my queries.

Penny: Let me postulate, Dave wants to go back in time to eat his taco.... again...

Crazy Dave: She's so smart! Now let's go after my taco!

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Ancient Egypt - Day 1
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: Welcome to Ancient Egypt!

Penny: Please wait 4500 years for your taco to be ready... more or less.

Crazy Dave: That doesn't smell right.

Crazy Dave: I'm sure my taco is around here somewhere, but in the meantime...

Crazy Dave: These plants were made for plantin'.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Ancient Egypt - Day 2
(Crazy Dave appears)

Crazy Dave: Those plants look hungry.

Crazy Dave: If only there was something that you could feed them...

(Penny appears)

Penny: Plant Food is packed with vitamins and minerals.

Penny: It's an essential part of a complete breakfast.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Ancient Egypt - Day 3
(Penny appears)

Penny: I found some spare change.

(Crazy Dave appears)

Crazy Dave: Penny, you're finally makin' sense!

Crazy Dave: Here neighbor, have some moola! Why? Because I'm CRAAAZY!

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Ancient Egypt - Day 5
(Penny appears)

Penny: You have some Power Ups! I'll show you how to use them.

(Crazy Dave appears)

Crazy Dave: Yeah, and now we can break the seal. Let's get crazy!

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Dark Ages - Night 1
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Whoa there! Who dimmed the lights?

Penny: No one, User Dave. We have simply arrived in the Dark Ages.

Crazy Dave: Sounds gloomy to me.

Penny: Indeed. According to my research, a plague has swept this era.

Penny: Also, sun no longer falls from the sky.

Crazy Dave: What we need is someone to brighten this place up!

Crazy Dave: I got it! We need Sun-shrooms!

Crazy Dave: Those guys not only know how to turn a frown upside-down...

Crazy Dave: They make more sun as they grow! Great guys, very talented.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Dark Ages - Night 12
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Why would anyone go and stick a nice sword in a dirty ol' rock?

Penny: I understand it to be a test, User Dave.

Penny: Only someone with great physical strength and strength of character may remove it.

Crazy Dave: I bet someone with a jackhammer could remove it.

Crazy Dave: A CRAAAZY someone!

Penny: An inelegant but no doubt effective solution to the test, User Dave.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Dark Ages - Night 13
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Boy, Pea-shooter and Wall-nut are good at what they do.

Crazy Dave: Talk about two great plants that fight great together!

Penny: User Dave! Perhaps you are not cerebrally unsound as you periodically insist!

Penny: What if there was one plant that behaved like both a Pea-shooter AND a Wall-nut?

Penny: We would call it a... Pea-nut!

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Dark Ages - Night 16
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: According to my data, iron and other metals were routinely put to use during the Dark Ages.

Penny: Thus, Magnet-shroom should make an excellent ally here.

Crazy Dave: He can pull buckets, helmets and other metal objects off of zombies!

Crazy Dave: Some people think it's magic. But really, it's just physics. (Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Dark Ages - Night 20
(introduction dialogue)

(Dr. Zomboss appears)

Dr. Zomboss: A question for you, my Ignoble Foes!

Dr. Zomboss: Has thou noted how violent thine plants become upon consuming Plant Food?

Dr. Zomboss: Perchance, hast thou wondered what Plant Food is truly made of?

Dr. Zomboss: Verily, I shall tell thee. It's zombies! Plant food is made of zombies!

(Dr. Zomboss disappears)

(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Unpossible! We feed our plants only the highest quality organic uhm...

Crazy Dave: Hey Penny, what is Plant Food made of?

Penny: I fear the true nature of Plant Food requires further analysis, User Dave.

Penny: Excuse me while I run some tests.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

(after defeating Dr. Zomboss)

(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: I have found no evidence that Plant Food contains zombies or zombie byproducts.

Crazy Dave: Phew! Plants shouldn't eat zombies who eat plants.

Crazy Dave: Except Chomper. He has to. Dude needs the fiber.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

(Dr. Zomboss appears)

Dr. Zomboss: Why does thine time-traveling jalopy lie to thee?

Dr. Zomboss: Now, I pray, imagine maniacal laughter as I depart.

(Dr. Zomboss disappears)

Arthur's Challenge
(Crazy Dave appears)

Crazy Dave: Hi neighbor! Welcome to Arthur's Challenge!

Crazy Dave: Here you'll find that day is night and knights are zombies!

(Crazy Dave leaves)

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Vasebreaker
(On the map)

Crazy Dave: Now here's a break with tradition.

Crazy Dave: Facebreaker is a blast from the past, right to your face!

Penny: It's called Vasebreaker, User Dave. Vasebreaker.

Crazy Dave: In that case, it must be right to your vase!

Check out Vasebreaker!

Vasebreaker Intro
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: A lawn of vases is like a box of chocolates.

Crazy Dave: Some are awesome! Others taste downright ugly!

Crazy Dave: But all vases are much harder on your teeth!

Penny: Be careful with how fast you break vases.

Penny: You might end up with more ugly than you can handle.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Big Wave Beach - Day 15
(after beating the level and obtaining the note)

Crazy Dave: Look! It must be time to play Beach Zombie Bungo!

Penny: Bingo, User Dave. It's BINGO.

Crazy Dave: You already won, Penny? Wow. You're good at this!

Frostbite Caves - Day 1
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Brrrrr. It's colder than a polar bear eating an ice pop!

Penny: Indeed. It appears we have arrived in the Frostbite Caves.

Crazy Dave: We've traveled so far back in history ... we've arrived in PREhistory!

Penny: A historic moment indeed, User Dave. But more importantly...

Penny: My sensors indicate there is an ice floe on the lawn.

Penny: Data suggests it will block both plants and zombies.

Penny: Though I predict zombies will find a way around it.

Crazy Dave: Don't worry. We'll plant wisely and stop those zombies COLD! (Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Travel Log
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Penny, look! Above my head!

Crazy Dave: It's the TRAVEL LOG!

Crazy Dave: What's that, Travel Log? You provide guidance, progress and rewards?

Penny: The Log is not actually speaking, User Dave.

Crazy Dave: Thanks, Travel Log! Whatever you say! (Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 1
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Woah! Welcome to the jungle!

Penny: User Dave, this is no ordinary jungle. A scan of my records indicated that this is the fabled Lost City.

Penny: Historical texts state that the Sun was worshipped here. Resources should be plentiful.

Penny: I suggest that we try planting on the Gold Tiles that we find here.

Penny: They should continuously generate sun as long as they have plants on them.

Crazy Dave: Lost City? This is it Penny! We've found it!

Crazy Dave: Where else would I find my lost taco, except in a Lost City?

Penny: Your continued fixation defies all logic or reason, User Dave.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 2
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: My sensors indicate movement incoming from above.

Crazy Dave: Maybe it's presents. Presents from the sky!

Penny: The chances of that statement being true are statistically irrelevant.

Penny: I believe it to be a new form of zombie threat. We should be cautious of unexpected guests.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 3
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: We are facing considerable threats, User Dave. I suggest that we retaliate with tremendous force.

Crazy Dave: More forceful! That's it! We'll give them all a stern talking to.

Penny: I was referring to the Lava Guava. Its explosive blasts leave behind dangerous magma.

Crazy Dave: That sounds even better! First a stern talking, then some lava!

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 4
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Penny: Caution, User Dave. I detect a zombie with a shovel.

Crazy Dave: Can he dig it?

Penny: It appears to block incoming shots. we need a way to get projectiles over the shovel.

Crazy Dave: I know! TELEKINESIS!

Penny: Try again, User Dave.

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 15
(After beating the level)

(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Well lookie-here, Penny! It's a treasure map!

Penny: My analysis suggest that the origins of that map are highly suspect.

Crazy Dave: It has a big red X on it, Penny. When have red Xs been bad?

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)

Lost City - Day 16
(Dr. Zomboss appears)

Dr. Zomboss: Come here seeking adventure, have you?

Dr. Zomboss: Unfortunately for you, the Porter Gargantuars are about to ruin your day!

Dr. Zomboss: They carry imps. Imps! Prepare to become ancient history!

(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: I wish someone would carry me around in a tiny house!

Penny: I wish for a lot of things, Use Dave. That is not one of them.

(Crazy Dave, Penny and Dr. Zomboss leave)

Chinese Version
Most of the dialogues in the Chinese version are translated versions of international version's dialogues.

Kung-Fu World - Day 3
(Crazy Dave and Penny appear)

Crazy Dave: Look! There's a Gourd! Is there any wine inside?

(Crazy Dave and Penny leave)